From Working Mom to Stay at Home Mom
I believe being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs that exists. Some people do not realize how hard it is to stay at home all day-every day.
I was a working mom for five years before I became a stay at home mom. I used to envy the mothers who got to stay home with their kids, in fact, sometimes I was resentful towards them. I had to put my kids in daycare and go to work for eight hours, sometimes more ,f ive days a week to make a living. By the time I would get home at the end of the day I was exhausted. Yet still, I had to make supper, bathe the kids, help with homework, and so on. There was not much time left for one on one time with my kids. I felt like I was just going through the motions each day with no time to enjoy life and my children. It was all about making money.
When I got pregnant with my third child, I ended up losing my job due to my attendance. I was able to collect unemployment compensation and I was able to stay at home with my 2 kids because it was not a financial strain on the family. It was a big change for me. I was used to getting up at 4:30 am and starting my job at 6:30 am. My work day usually ended at 2:30pm. Then off to the daycare to pick up my youngest son and come home and do all the household chores and get ready to do the same thing the next day.
I have found that being a stay at home mom is not really something to be envied. The house gets dirtier and you are constantly cleaning and picking up stuff after the kids. Some days I feel like all I do is dishes, laundry, vacuuming, cooking, and picking up toys.
Then when I had my new baby daughter, it was lot more work. I had to take care of a newborn on top of taking care of a two year old all day. Add feedings, changing, and dealing with a newborn to my already busy day. I missed having a job to go to. I missed the adult interaction and conversation everyday. When you are at home everyday with children it gets to you. I believe that when you are a working mom, you are getting a break from the domestic life, enjoying some form of adult interaction, and you also receive a paycheck.
I love my kids but some days I want to run away. After my unemployment ran out, I took on a part-time job as a telemarketer for 5 hours a day, five days a week. I hated the job and I hated taking my kids to daycare to go to a place that I did not want to be. After 5 weeks, I quit the job. I tried finding another job with no luck. I decided to stay home for awhile longer. We are living on one paycheck and it is hard. I appreciate that I get to see my 3 year old son off to school. When he gets off the bus a the end of the day, he is so happy to see me. I would not want to trade that for anything.
There are pros and cons to being a stay at home mom. Some things money can't buy. There will be a day when I go back to work, but for now I'm going to enjoy my kids.
Published by carol terry
I am a 34 year old stay at home mom. I have 3 kids-2 sons and a daughter. I'm still not really sure what I want to do careerwise yet! View profile
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6 Comments
Post a CommentThis article is depressing. I understand the dilemma, but at the same time it sounds like there isn't a happy situation. I think the problem may lay in the mother & not in the situation. Life is what you make of it.
Came across this article.....2 years after the original post....still relevant, really enjoyed it, thanks. This is exactly how I feel.
At least you are honest, staying at home comes with a price, lack of a pension, lost time in chosen career, and if something was to happen to the person making that one income, than it could force you into proverty. My husband stayed home with our last 2 kids when he got laid off from his job as a Sales Manager for a major hotel, he then decided to do a Real Estate business and didn't want to use our saving to do so. He delivered newpapers in the morning (as did a lot of other stay at home parents) and worked on Real Esate in the evening. That meant the house was a mess, dinner wasn't made but the kids were happy and we weren't broke. He didn't like delivering newspapers, but he did it for the income. I don't necessarily like my job all the time, but it does not define my life, its a means for me to enjoy my real life, the one outside of work. While he was home for 5 years his income increased to more than mine and he went back to school and extended his education so that when our
I know how you feel. I have a set of twins, so I stay at home because the cost of a quality childcare program for two infants would run almost $400.00 per week. By the time I add in gas, I'de probably end up in the negative. I am a great mom, but my cooking is horrible and I can't seem to keep up with the house work. I decided to take this opportunity to go back to school at night, but I can barely keep up with my lessons. I have always held down a job, so not having an income if my own is the hardest part. Goodluck.
Thanx for an honest view of how you feel about being at home all day with the kids. It is difficult. Moms feel guilt and dissatisfaction with both options because neither of them are 100% ideal.
I understand your point about how under-appreciated stay-at-home moms are, but I also think that it's not the right role for everyone. It's tiring entertaining a toddler all day, but I am 100% happier than dealing with office politics. I go to activities (free and fee) with my son and get my adult interaction there, or with other at-home-mom friends. I work from home a few hours a week and would otherwise miss the mental stimulation and personal spending money. I wish I had vacation/sick days (yay for family babysitters!), but I've never been happier. I think it's just like any job - you need the right skills, personality and mindset to make the most of it. A lot of women do it because they think they should, or can't afford another option, and don't really enjoy it. By the way, being an at-home mom, doesn't automatically mean you're the maid. I work so I'm not expected to do all of the cleaning, too. Hubby and I split everything once he's home from work, including childcare.