Frugal Living Series: Frugal Fashionista

With household budgets everywhere being slashed to accommodate for higher gas and grocery prices, family clothing budgets have by necessity also grown tighter. But children don't grow around sale cycles, and they wear out the knees in their jeans long before wardrobes are replenished at Christmas and birthdays. So how does a budget-conscious family with fashionistas in training buy clothing without breaking the bank? Thrift stores, of course!

Convincing your fashion conscious teens and tweens that thrift store shopping will actually yield them some great, high quality clothes while staying within your family's budget, can be quite the battle. Several years ago, a friend's nine year old daughter was staying with us for awhile. Her mom had bought all of her clothes at Old Navy. She always looked great. As her clothes had needed replacing, I had been thrift store shopping for her, along with my own children, but these trips usually happened while the kids were in school. She had never complained-she thought her clothes were fashionable, and loved the jeans I was able to buy for her

One day, we were killing time before a dentist appointment, and stopped by the thrift store to see what clothes bargains we could find. I held up a pair of jeans for her to evaluate. She said she liked them, and added "But, they're...used!" I explained to her that our budget didn't allow us to shop at her favorite store like her mother had done, and that we would wash them before she wore them. She was still unconvinced, so I explained that all the clothes I had bought for her had come from thrift stores. I could see the wheels turning in her head, as mental pictures of the clothes she loved ran through her mind. Finally, she started to get it. Of course, she was nine, making it much easier than it would have been had she been twelve or so.

And, at that age, had I needed to, I could have simply said "Look...these are good jeans, in good shape, and it's what our budget can afford. You'll wear it or go without." I am, after all, the parent. Older children, however, can be a challenge if you've been buying them current brands all this time.

So how does one resolve this issue? Well, first of all, you are the parent. You are buying the clothes, you choose where your money is spent. But if you try to just steamroll them into it, you may find yourself washing the same three pair of Gap jeans over and over again because that's all they will wear.

If they are old enough to understand money (and if they're old enough to fight you about their clothes, they are old enough for at least a general understanding of money and budgets), sit them down and have an "adult" talk with them. Explain to them that the prices of everything are on the rise, so you're going to have to do some trimming of their clothes budget (make sure they understand that everyone will be affected by this, not just them), and you need their help. You need them to understand that you're not going to send them off to school in parachute pants that were fashionable in 1985, but that you will need to start buying a lot of their clothes at the thrift store or on ebay . If they are resistant to this, tell them you will be going shopping together this weekend. Start your shopping trip by going to the mall. Look through their favorite stores and price the clothes they want. If you have a laptop, take it with you, go to the food court and grab a snack, and sit down and look on ebay or ecrater.com for the exact brands you've just been looking at. Let them compare prices. Then, go to the thrift store. If you can find those exact brands, you're in a perfect situation to say "Look, here's a T-Shirt from Abercrombie for $3.00, instead of the $15.00 it was there." Find a pair of jeans in the same style, if not the same brand, as what your child likes, and have your child try them on. Make sure they are in great shape. If you have to go to a few thrift stores, and you can, then do that. Remember, the less resistance, the better. And if you don't find anything, make it a fun trip anyway. Look through the "vintage" leisure suits and just plain old shoes, and laugh a bit. This is a good way to get in some quality one on one parent and child time. Grab something to drink and tell them that Thrift Stores can be hit or miss but promise that you'll never buy them that lime green, orange and blue shirt you found together and laughed over. Offer to take them again soon or to go back to ebay or ecrater .com for the great pair of jeans you found together that are still half what they were in the store at the mall.

If that flat out doesn't work, try this. The next large clothing buying season you have, like back to school time, hand them their entire year's clothing budget, in cash, if you can. Tell them that you understand that they don't like what you've offered, so they are on their own. Tell them that they have to use that money to get all of their clothes for the next year. They must wear what they buy and you will only supplement for growth or at Christmas and birthdays. If they can only afford one pair of jeans from the expensive store, then that is all that they will have. Call any grandparents or other friends or relatives who routinely buy your children clothes and make sure they are in on the plan, so your kiddo doesn't call Aunt Susie and ask for help. Tell them they can only supplement their clothes budget from money they earn working, or from selling their old clothes (offer to help them list them on ebay). Be firm, and a bit patient. But stick to your guns! When they come to you whining, let them know that you made the offer to shop the way you could afford to, but that they were convinced they could do it better, and now they have to live with the consequences of their actions.

You are the parent, you are the one in charge. Sometimes, you just have to be creative! I grew up shopping in thrift stores, and now I'm sharing the joys and frustrations of thrift store shopping with my own five children. My children are dressed very well. I've found brands such as Levi's, Gap, Abercrombie, American Eagle, and even Gymboree at the thrift store. And no one except our family knows where we buy our fashionable clothes!