Frugal Tips on Being a Stay at Home Mom

There are over 5.6 million stay at home mom's today who contribute a lot to the family in more ways than monetarily; yet, they do not get the deserve credit they should. There are many working moms out there that wish they could stay at home with their children; yet, they may not realize they really could if they chose to sacrifice for it.

I was a stay at home mom in the early 1980s, giving up a great income in order to stay at home with my children. I learned to not only work on one income, send two children to college, but retire my husband early. That was because of the unique partnership my husband and I had. The point here to all that is; it is all about sacrificing, attitude, and the desire to learn new ways to reinvent myself. So, I was curious if there were any stay at home mom's on AC in 2008; that could shed some light for any moms working outside the home who wish to change places with them. I have found such a mom. Her name is Pattie Valor who goes by the pen name 3lilangels.

Pattie has to be one of the most lovable writers on AC. She only began writing article since November 2007; however, she has become one of the most endearing writers here. You have seen her articles many times, especially in the most commented areas located below all the articles. She has an interesting story to tell you. My interview with Pattie will show you where she has come from in her life, how she has endured her pains and struggles, and most of all; how she overcame them. What makes Pattie unique as a stay at home mom is that she has 2 ½ year old twins (a boy and a girl) and a 3 ½ yr old son. Pattie also will share with you some of her frugal tips she has created with her 3lilangels.

Irene: Pattie, could you give us a little bit of background of who you were before you were married?

Pattie: I am 34 years old. I was born and raised in New Jersey, the last of three children. My childhood wasn't a normal childhood. I had to grow up rather quickly. My father was an alcoholic.

During my teenage years, I saw how my parents struggled with my father as he tried to become sober. I swore to myself this would never happen to me.
That was my turning point. I wanted to become successful in my own right. It made me feel like I needed to create something for myself. I knew I wanted to have my own business - my own hair salon.

I went to cosmetology school after high school. From the moment I stepped into the classroom, I knew right there, this was my calling. After working in many salons, I decided to open up my own salon.

There is nothing like working for yourself. I have an affirmation that I repeat in my head when things are tough, "I know I'm going to make it". Unfortunately, after 6 years I had to give it up.

Irene: Pattie, what made you decide to become a stay at home mom? Was it something from your past or something you saw today that made your mind up?

Pattie: Having 3 children all under the age of 3, well, it was just too expensive to send my babies to daycare; even with two incomes.

Being the mother that I am, I wanted to be with them. I wanted to watch them grow up; take an active role in each of their lives. It was an easy choice for me; to stay home with them. I loved the thought of being able to teach them myself, until they were old enough for preschool. In my opinion, this is the greatest feeling a mother can feel.

Irene: You mentioned to me that you had you owned your own beauty salon for 6 years before you gave it up to be a stay at home mom. How did you weigh the decision to do this?

Pattie: Times were very hard for my husband and me. Despite the fact we had two incomes, it was still difficult to get ahead in our bills. Our salaries weren't making it for us. The money wasn't that bad; however, I needed more of it because I was also helping my family out with their mortgage, food, and having them live comfortably. I didn't want to worry where their next meal was coming from or if they still would have their home.

I decided to close my salon down so I would not have the overhead expenses. My clients followed me after that and I worked out of my home cutting their hair. This gave me more income because of no overhead expenses. Also, it was a great tax deduction too.

Seeing that my family was not struggling any more was more important than what I wanted to do at the time. I believe that "No matter what no matter where it's always home if love is there"

Irene: Those babies of yours are beautiful. Having children so close together has to be a challenge. How do you manage in addition to doing hair cuts out of your home and writing for AC? What's your secret?

Pattie: Well, to be totally honest with you, I have no secret. I just try to take one day at a time. It is my strength of my family and God that gets me through it.
I try to schedule my hair appointments while my babies are napping if possible. My day starts around 4:00 A.m. That's when I sit done to write my articles for A.C.

My kids wake up at 6:00 A.M. where I spend time with each one while getting my oldest ready for preschool. From that point, my day is full of non stop action between cutting hair, house work, playing and learning with my twins, cooking, and trying to find a little quiet time for me.

Sometimes, to be honest, I don't know which way is up. I believe I'm doing what any other mother does. However, there is always that one question I ask myself, "God, why me?" and "Could you please give me the strength to keep proving for my family?"

Irene: Pattie, what tips can you give new stay at home moms on how they should manage their day to day household finances? What's your strategy?

Pattie: First thing to do is try to find ways to save money anyway you can. Formula and diapers are the most expensive today. I make sure I get involved with the companies who make these products. See, it is because most of them will offer incentives that could save you a pretty penny. I do not buy top brand names. I stay with generic brands because they are just as good; actually, this applies to everything, food included.

Stock up your pantry with items like pasta and rice. Many of my dinner dishes are made with these.

Of course, use coupon. Try to get as many as you can. Through the newspaper and with printing those out on line are the best way. However, you can go to stores to see if they have all the old newspapers stacked up outside. Let's face it. Why have them thrown into the garbage when you can take all the coupons out to save you money?

Buy your food in bulk. If possible many stores like Costco or BJs have some really great deals.

Try to prepare you meals a few days ahead. Then, when the weekend comes around, all you have to do is heat up your food. When you prepare the food this way, you get the pleasure of more family time together.

Improvise is one of the main keys here for me. This means, you should learn how to deal with the food you have in your home. There is always something you can make no matter what the ingredients are. Not only will you save money, but using your creativity will give you and your family some unique dishes to enjoy.
Use cheap paper plates for your meals. Here you will have a lower water bill because there is no automatic dishwasher needed to be turned on.

Try to pay your bills on line and on time. Most companies including credit card companies offer this. This will save you from buying stamps; not to mention the aggravation of waiting in the post office line. It is so important to pay bills on time, because those nasty late payments can add up rather quickly. Think about how many meals you could have had for the cost of those late payments.

Make crafts and home made games with your kids using the materials lying around your home. This will save you so much money, especially seeing how expensive those board games are.

Irene: Pattie, how would you summarize your philosophy in life with a favorite quote? And please tell me why it holds close to you heart?

Pattie: There is no favorite quote. However, I would like to share my philosophy that sums up what it family means to me. Take your time and enjoy your family today; for you never know what tomorrow may hold" Family is the most important thing in my life. With the passing of my father I know that love can be there one minute and gone the next.

I enjoyed learning about Pattie and her family. It is not easy today to be a stay at home mom. Society still puts a stigma on the stay at home mom today as they did in my day, 25 years ago. Most think you do not work, if you aren't bringing in a salary and contributing cash to the household budget. Pattie and I both know that is not true. Life is about choices. The choice a stay at home mom makes to give up that income and live in a more modest fashion than before, in exchange for nurturing their children all throughout the day. This hard choice comes with courage; courage to believe that they can handle life's difficulties that might come their way because of this decision. It takes planning and being organized. Pattie can attest to that with her 3lilangels. If you like to see Pattie's articles, click "here".