FRUIT LOOP SENSES MY CRAZY MAGNET - THEN ATTACKS!

I wouldn't have expected any less. Really. I wasn't even mad when it happened, because I knew (or I thought) it wasn't that bad. I saw that the man had an even more horrible car than I did, it was blowing smoke all in the school parking lot. Rattle rattle rattle..shit half ass falling off. And I could see that he was old. He was old with a piece of shit car, so he was obviously having not a good run on things.

SO, we pull up in the line in front of the school, we turn off our cars, we get out. But the old man didn't. Nope. He decides to back up. Back up on my car. My piece of shit daewoo. He hits it, I'm knocking on his window to let him know my car is behind his being eaten, and he continues to back up. Finally he stops his bumper on mine. Jesus.

A few things were going through my mind right about now. One, do I want to humiliate myself and my kid by having everyone wait for me to realize I am just fucked? Two, do I want to hurt this old person's feelings over a ding in a car I hate anyway? I mean, they have to be so upset right now, wondering if I'm going to scream and cuss about it. And three, do I really give a shit about it? Nope, nope to all.

So I decided to just tell him it's all right, don't worry about it. Then I look in the window, and see that not even a fender bender can be normal for me. There in the driver's seat was not only NOT a man, but also a woman with a horrible hair cut and man glasses. What's worse, is this old she-man is a fuckin' looneytoon. This fruitcake is sitting there, laughing. Laughing. Her car bumper is jacked up on mine, and this head case is laughing. Not a normal laugh, one of those "I see little fishes" laugh.

I am furious. I was going to just let this slide. Still am, because now I realize any kind of paper work or exchange of information would require a prescription or a translator. I just say to myself, what else did I expect? I'm not going to stand here and try to receive an "I'm sorry" or "Thank you, you sweet sweet child!" from a wall scratcher. So I just walk on to the porch to get my child. As I wait there, I still expected rain woman to come over and say something. What does she do? She walks over to this lady, and starts telling her about her husband's surgery. After a while, the woman finally tells her "I don't know you!". But yes she does! She has to! You mean she didn't remember being a school bus driver all those years? Even after she hears her name 3 times, loudly? Well, I was ready to tell her just to be her for 5 damn minutes to get mental lentil to shut up.

She doesn't even acknowledge me. I can't believe, this huge good deed I did for an old fart is going to go unnoticed, I am the only one who knows how sweet I was fucking being. My good deed goes wasted on a retard. It figures. I stomp over to my car, wave off the other parents as they LAUGH at me, because they know as well it would do no good to even try to do anything about it. They laugh at the "fuck you" I got.

Then it gets better. Two huge lines of cars, guess whose breaks down. Gilbert Grapes. This nut gets out of the car, still laughing, and shrugs her shoulders at me. He he... so all the cars have to go AROUND us, seeing as though mine has to be slowly backed up as to not cause anymore damage. I sit there, watching the absurd do the absurd. She's walking around the car, giggling. Talking. Giggling again. Hell, even the kid she picked up looked like she would be having a good day if she found a bugger to eat. She had on stirrup pants. They still make those? And a dollar store racing jacket. With flags all over it. Humiliation is so bad right now, as I see the other moms with open mouths drive by. Oh fuck off already.

I pull back, she doesn't even wave "bye" or give me a look to even admit what she has done. I get home, and see a huge dent and crack in my bumper. Missing paint reimbursed with her crappy blue paint. A reminder that not even bad luck can go my way. A fruit loop found it's way to me...of course..