Funeral Etiquette

Funerals are uncomfortable, and many people don't know what to say to the family. Rather than attend a funeral and offend the grieving family, consider the following etiquette tips.

1. Offer Your Condolences

There are many ways to express your regret. Some people choose to visit the family in the home. If unable to visit the family in-person, make a telephone call. Depending on the circumstances, you may want to keep the call brief. Another option, send a sympathy card or flowers. Some family members also appreciate a meal.

2. Make a Donation

If the family request donations in lieu of flowers, adhere to their request. Some families establish a fund to help provide support to the deceased person's children, or request funds be sent to a foundation such as the American Cancer Society.

3. Visit the Funeral Home

If unable to attend the funeral, make an effort to attend the wake. Wakes are held at the funeral home, and allow family and friends the chance to view the body before the funeral services. In many instances, some relatives are viewing the body for the first time. If emotions are high, be respectful. Shake the family's hand or offer a quick hug.

4. Join the Processional Line

Before the funeral, the family will usually meet at a relative's home and drive to the funeral location. You may either join the processional line, or drive directly to the funeral home or church. If you want to join the line, arrive on time. The night before the services, the funeral director will provide detail instructions such as meeting time and location. If running late, drive to the location. Once you arrive, it is customary to view the body first, and then take your seat.

5. Respect Seating Arrangement

The first two or three rows are reserved for family and the processional line. If you arrive at the funeral location early, do not sit in the reserved space.

6. Be Respectful

Respect the family's heartache. During the funeral service, do not laugh. Everyone has likely attended a funeral in which a certain family member decided to perform, or exaggerate the grief (ex. screaming uncontrollably). Nonetheless, keep your composure. Turn off the cell phone, and keep chatter to a minimum. The re-pass held immediately after the service let's funeral attendees associate with the family. This is not party-time. Guest should remain in good-spirits. However, out of respect for the family, don't create an overly jovial atmosphere.