Funeral Pre-Planning Goes the Way of the World Wide Web

Funeral planning on the Internet is now possible. An activity that most people would rather not think about, pre-planning your funeral makes good sense, nevertheless. If you've ever had to arrange a funeral for someone you loved, you know the difficult decisions and second-guessing that goes into that process.

The grief process is a difficult enough experience without having to try and guess what your loved one would have wanted. You can spare your loved ones this experience by putting your thoughts and wishes in a free, password-guarded funeral planning site.

In the United States, two women, Sue Kroskopf and Nancy Bush created their site, www.MyWonderfulLife.com with the baby boomer generation in mind. Nancy Bush lost her husband to cancer when he was 53. Even though he knew his illness was terminal, he put off making his wishes known, partly because he thought it would indicate he had given up.

The U.K. has a London-based equivalent, www.YourDeathWish.com, also free to join. (A different name might have sounded less morbid.)

It's not unusual for people to put off what they think will be an unpleasant ordeal. Many people are afraid they may jinx themselves by doing so ( I know, I was one). And while the process may be emotionally difficult, there is also a feeling of independence and joy in being able to voice your thoughts for your final earth-bound ceremony.

It is also an unselfish act to pre-plan your funeral. You are freeing your loved ones from any feelings of uncertainty or guilt in trying to give you the type of service they think you would have wanted.

Maybe it's something you've thought about doing, but just haven't gotten around to it. This website provides a perfect opportunity for you.

First of all, joining the site is free. You can access funeral planning resources and find out more about MyWonderfulLife.com.

When you're ready to proceed, you enter the area titled "My Book." Here, the site will take you through various pages, allowing you to write as little or as much as you like about such things as your preference for burial/cremation/green burial, the funeral service, any burial service, where your loved ones can find important papers such as your insurance policies, will, etc.

"My Book" will undoubtedly help you to consider more issues than you would have thought of on your own. If you like, you can choose what music you would like played, any readings to be done, letters to your family as a whole or as individuals.

As you go through each section, you can choose to complete some or all or none of the information, then save it and continue.

In your personal information area, you can designate up to six people that can have access to your information. The site refers to these people are your "angels." First and last name, email address, and relationship is all that's required in this area. You can pre-read the letter that will be sent to these contact people and can change, add, or omit people at any time.

I opened my account today and filled out some sections of "My Book." With each item I wrote, I felt that the manner in which I wanted my "going away party" was really very important to me. I want it to be a reflection of me, of our family's values. I shed some tears, but they were cleansing tears. Afterward, I felt empowered.

I'm not chronically ill and only in my fifth decade of life, but I feel relieved that my family will never have to second guess my wishes. There can be no arguments between them when the time comes because it is all written out for them. They are freed from any potential for regret.

And thought I won't be there to experience it, I feel as if my passing will be celebrated in the same manner as my living was. And that's a really good feeling.