Funniest Quotes from "Modern Family"

"Modern Family" has taken the sitcom world by storm, building on the success of its hyped pilot to rocket to the top of the TV ratings. Combining elements of earlier family comedies like "Married with Children" with more subtle and sophisticated writing reminiscent of "The Office" or "Friends", "Modern Family" has firmly established itself as a leader in the genre. While the show relies heavily on the development of humorous and complicated situations, it also does a tremendous job of forging an identity for each character, epitomized by pithy lines on a weekly basis. Here are some of the best quotes by and bout each of the sitcom's main players.

Alex - The Student
Alex: You're never alone when you have books. (Season 2, Episode 3, "Earthquake")

Cameron - The Sensitive One
Cameron: I can't pressure Mitchell. But I really, really, really just want him to get a job so I can go back to being a stay-at-home dad/trophy wife. (Season 1, Episode 20, "Benched")

Claire - The Good Mother With the Colorful Past
Claire: Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them; they need to know who you wish you were, and try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better they fall short of the fake you than the real you. (Season 2, Episode 2, "The Kiss")

Gloria - The Hot-Blooded Mom
Gloria: In my culture, mothers are very clingy to their sons. In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women is when their sons get married. But I'm not like that. (Season 1, Episode 1,"The Old Wagon")

Haley - It Is Better to Look Good Than to Feel Good
Haley (on her biggest fear): Never getting my driver's license, or getting one and the picture sucks. (Season 1, Episode 16, "Fears")

Jay - Suddenly a Dad Again
Jay: We're guys! We don't open up. We talk about sports and cars and getting up in the middle of the night to pee. (Season 1, Episode 13, "Fifteen Percent")

Luke - Awkward Puppy
Luke: I think I found a place where I can sell this organ. Can you drive me to the black market? (Season 2, Episode 7, "Chirp")

Manny - The Forty-Year-Old Boy
Jay: Don't most kids drink soda?
Manny: Who knows what they do? (Season 2, Episode 5, "Unplugged")

Mitchell - Why Must He Suffer All of These Fools?
Mitchell: I know I'm not the handiest guy, but I'm still a man and I want to be able to look out into my yard and say, "There's a little bit of me in that princess castle." (Season 2, Episode 1, "The Old Wagon")

Phil - The Almost-Cool Dad
Phil: I'm cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud; OMG: oh my god; WTF: why the face (Season 1, Episode 1, "Pilot")

Stellar writing, in terms of both story development and frequent character zingers, has allowed "Modern Family" to capture the hearts and minds of sitcom viewers everywhere. The above quotes are perfect examples of the show's ability to encapsulate the essence of its characters in the space of a few spoken words. Enjoy these gems and the new ones that are delivered each week at 9 pm ET on ABC.