Funniest Quotes of "Modern Family," Season One

Known for its comedy, the mockumentary "Modern Family" is full of lovable, hilarious characters. Here are some of the funniest quotes from season one.

Episode 2

Gloria: "It's important that we teach him how to do things for himself (Manny). In my culture men take great pride in doing physical labor."

Jay: "I know, that's why I hire people from your culture."

Gloria: "You're too funny. I'm going to share that one with my next husband when we're spending all your money."

Episode 4

Cameron: "There's a fish in nature that swims around with its babies in it's mouth. That fish would look at Mitchell's relationship with his mother and say 'that's messed up.'"

Episode 8

Claire: "Look at how young we are. Oh god that perm."

Phil: "Yeah it really framed my face."

Episode 10

Jay: "Christmas should be Christmas. Picture on the stairs. Hot chocolate. Opening the presents. That was supposed to be the good thing about having a kid in the house again. I can have Christmas the way we used to."

Cameron: "I hear you Jay. If I was home right now I'd be mixing up a bathtub full of egg nog and trying to squeeze a greased hog into a Santa hat. You don't think I miss that?"

Mitchell: "Do you?"

Episode 13

Jay: "Just stop it. Please. Don't you see how hard this is for me? See I used to be just like one of those guys. Now look at me, I got a house looks like little Columbia, I got a gay son, and a Chinese granddaughter."

Mitchell: "Vietnamese."

Jay: "Only you would know the difference..."

Episode 15

Claire, to her husband, Phil: "Tell me about your wife."

Phil: "Well she's beautiful of course.

Claire: "Really? Well if she's so very beautiful, then why are you here with me?

Phil: "Because she's always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do."

Claire: "Maybe if you did them she' wouldn't be so tired.

Phil: "Oh no, she can make lists for days. But back to your mouth and how sexy it is."

Episode 17

Claire: "Denise? Do I know Denise?"

Phil: "Yeah, you know my old girlfriend."

Haley: "Oh my god gross I can't even picture you with a woman.

Claire: "Thank you."

Luke: "You had a girlfriend before Mom?"

Phil: "Try two. Trust me, I had plenty of fun in my time. Then I met your mom."

Episode 23

Phil: "Actually, Claire and I were supposed to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon, but something else came up."

Claire: "I got pregnant with Haley."

Phil: "My bad!"