Funny Fortune Cookie Messages

I love eating fortune cookies. Mostly for the fortune telling message. It is always fun to see what you get. Here are some funny fortune cookie messages. Enjoy!

You eat banana and throw down peel, you slip. Don't do this.

You came. You ordered. You enjoyed. You paid. Don't forget tip.

A rainstorm is coming. You forgot your umbrella. Just smile. You will still get wet.

A gift horse is better than a crazy horse.

Good things are coming your way. You stay here. And order dessert.

You are never too full if you have one dollar left.

A nice stranger will bring you what you desire. Reward him well.

A barrel of monkeys may be fun, but five egg rolls are better.

A wise man knows that Chinese food disappears quickly. Think take out.

When in doubt, try all choices.

You will be confronted with two roads. Take both.

A crying child needs to be fed well.

You will see a tall and dark stranger soon. Run!

Chinese fortune say you are hungry. Indulge.

A smart duck quacks and a wise man avoids crackers and has orange duck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but orange chicken is a possibility.

Avoid white rice. Fried rice sticks to the ribs.

Egg foo young may be, but age gives you the wisdom to enjoy.

Smile, eat, enjoy and you will be happy, grin and have many chins.

Your happiness lies in the menu. Don't take too long. All the food will be gone.

You take one step forward and one step back. You forgot your purse.

All roads lead you to your fate. You will be glad that you ate first.

The crying child gets attention, but the screaming child gets the first egg roll.

Your fingers will soon be cramped. Do not pretend to know how to use chopsticks.

Your lap will soon be full. Put down the chopsticks and use spoon.

The waiter is merry and he laughs. Your chopsticks use amuses him.

The seven year old has mastered the chopsticks. You have not. Give up!

You will soon be unable to walk. It will pass. Not everyone can kneel for dinner.

He who grabs the last egg roll is wise...and less hungry.

Too much is often not enough. Think towards the future.

You soon will hear a cat fight behind your house. They are fighting over the Chinese food containers you put in the trash. Do not get in the way!

You will see a small dog run by you covered in rice. He lost the fight.

You will be happy, prosper and crave egg rolls. This is an honor.