Funny No Strings Attached Quotes

"No Strings Attached" is a comedy starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman. The movie is about two friends who try to use each other for sex without the strings of a normal relationship attached. Ashton Kuther plays the character Adam, and Natalie Portman plays Emma. The film also co-stars actors Greta Gerwig, Lake Bell, Kevin Kline, Ludacris, Jake M. Johnson, Olivia Thirlby, Mindy Kaling, Cary Elwes, and Talia Balsam. No Strings Attached was written by Elizabeth Meriweather based on a story by Elizabeth Meriweather and Mike Samonek.

Funny No Strings Attached Quotes - Peanut Allergy Movie Scene

Ashton Kutcher as Adam (holding balloon with the word congrats on it): It's for you.

Natalie Portman as Emma: Congrats? For what? Having sex with you?

Adam: Yeah, you did a really good job so I thought you deserved a balloon.

Emma: I'm working.

Adam: Okay. What's up with not calling me back?

Emma: I'm not good at this stuff.

Adam: At what, talking?

Emma: Yeah, talking... communicating... relationship stuff. It's just... If we were in a relationship I'd become a weird scary version of myself, and my throat starts constricting, the walls start throbbing, it's like a peanut allergy. It's like an emotional peanut allergy.

Funny No Strings Attached Quotes - Ex Girlfriend Movie Scene

Ashton Kutcher as Adam: My dad's dating my ex-girlfriend.

Natalie Portman as Emma: You told me about it last night.

Adam: Like in a charming way?

Emma: You were naked and crying.

Funny No Strings Attached Quotes - Sex Movie Scene

(Said to Adam and Emma) I can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going on around me.

Funny No Strings Attached Quotes - Cab Movie Scene

Natalie Portman as Emma (getting into cab): Take me to Adam's house.

Cab Driver: Where's that?

Emma: Where Adam lives.

Funny No Strings Attached Quotes - 2 Girls Movie Scene

Natalie Portman as Emma (to girl): You look like a pumpkin b*tch.

Funny No Strings Attached Quotes - 10 Years From Now Movie Scene

(Said to Adam): Don't screw it up. Ten years from now you're going to be having sex with your wife and it's going to be in the missionary position and one of you is going to be asleep.

Funny No Strings Attached Quotes - Period Mix Movie Scene

Ashton Kutcher as Adam: I know what going on. You're all on the same cycle. This is very exciting. Your uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five days.

Miny Kaling as Shira: Nice memorization. Did you google that?

Adam: I may have. Because you're women. And I think that's a beautiful thing.

Greta Gerwig as Patrice: There's like a crime scene in my pants.

Adam: Oh, I also made you this (hands Emma a CD). To help soothe your womb.

Patrice: It's a mix. Even Flow. Red Red Wine.

Shira: Sunday Bloody Sunday.

Emma: Adam, did you make me a period mix?

(Gay guy): That's so romantic.

Patrice: Frank Sinatra, I've Got the World on a String.

Funny No Strings Attached Quotes - Date Movie Scene

Ashton Kutcher as Adam: Cheers. (Taps date's wine glass)

Lake Bell as Lucy: Oh thank you.

Adam and Lucy (Go to kiss, bangs head together instead): Oww.

Lucy: I'm so sorry. That was such a fail on my part. Wait, can we, I can do better than that, can we try again?

Adam: Sure. Mulligan. Let's, why don't we... (sit down on couch and start making out)

Lucy: Oh my god, this is happening, this is really happening, you're touching me...

Adam: Maybe we don't need to talk about everything.