Funny Quotes from Bad Teacher Movie

Bad Teacher is a comedy which centers on an unlikely teacher. Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, and Jason Segel star in the film.

The Right Reasons Quote

Cameron Diaz as Elizabeth: When I first started teaching, I thought that I was doing it for all the right reasons -- shorter hours, summers off, no accountability...

This Bad Teacher quote is funny because it's not really what you expect a teacher to say.

Ball Sack Quote

Elizabeth: Sign my yearbook?
Russell: Hold my ball sack?

If you find sexual innuendos funny, then you might like this scene between Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake. Justin Timberlake is holding a sack of soccer balls when Cameron Diaz asks him to sign her yearbook.

First Day of School Quote

Lynn: Are you excited for tomorrow?
Elizabeth: Is tomorrow Saturday?
Lynn: No, it's the first day of school.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm not going to go to that.
Lynn: But it's mandatory...
Elizabeth: Ooh. I don't give a f--k.

While Cameron Diaz's lines are funny regarding the first day of school, the actress who plays Lynn, Phyllis Smith, doesn't get enough credit for the humor in Bad Teacher. She plays off Cameron Diaz nicely.

Marijuana Quote

Elizabeth: What do you want?
Student: Is that marijuana?
Elizabeth: No. It's medicinal marijuana.
Student: Oh. Well, feel better!

I think this student's reply to feel better is pretty funny.

Gym Teacher Quote

Russell: Hey Elizabeth, do you want to, like, grab a bite sometime?
Elizabeth: You still a gym teacher?
Russell: I am, yeah.
Elizabeth: Then, no.
Russell: Okay, cool. Well, awesome. This went great. Alright.

This scene featuring actor Jason Segel in Bad Teacher is so pathetic that it's funny.

Congress Quote

Elizabeth: Stop dressing like you're running for Congress.

Just a funny simile in Bad Teacher.

Face Quote

Lynn: I love how his eyes sparkle when he smiles.
Elizabeth: I want to sit on his face.

The difference in perspectives between Cameron Diaz and Phyllis Smith makes for a funny moment in the movie.

Lebron Quote

Russell: You're out of your mind. There is no way Lebron will ever beat Jordon. Nobody will ever been Jordan, okay?
Shawn: Lebron's a better rebounder and passer.
Russell: Will you let me finish? Can you let me finish? Call me when Lebron has six championships.
Shawn: Is that your only argument?
Russell: That's the only argument I need, Shawn!

Jason Segel makes this Lebron vs. Jordan argument funny.

Source: Bad Teacher movie written by Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg.