Funny Quotes for Christmas

With Christmas just around the corner, it's time to sit back and reflect on some of the funniest quotes for Christmas ever made. These funny Christmas quotes comes from a mix of well known celebrities, and a few not-so-well known sources. Either way, the result is a fun collection of funny quotes for Christmas that will make you laugh.

Use these funny Christmas quotes inside Christmas cards, holiday greetings, scrapbook bakes, or just share them with family and friends.

'Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?' - Tom Armstrong

"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." - Phyllis Diller

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. T hey couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." - Jay Leno

"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas." - Johnny Carson

"When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?" - G.K. Chesterton

"No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas." - Robert Kirby

"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven." - W.C. Fields

"From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it." - Katharine Whitehorn

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph." - Shirley Temple

"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present." - Unknown

"You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger." - Robert Paul

"Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money." - Unknown

"There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them." - P.J. O'Rourke

" How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year." - Unknown

"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." - Joan Rivers

If you liked this, you may also enjoy:

Top 10 Christmas Comedy Movies

Christmas Lights - Flashy or Trashy?

Worst Gifts for Men During the Holidays (or anytime!)

SOURCE:

Jennifer Wagner - Yahoo! Contributor Network

http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/christmas/christmas_funny_quotes.htm

http://www.quotegarden.com/christmas.html

　

　

　

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