Funny Quotes for Graduation

2. Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
-Gary Bolding

3. Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
-Erma Bombeck

4. Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.
-Garry Trudeau

5. A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
-W.H. Auden

6. The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.
-Russell Green

7. At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.
-Paul Freund

8. It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.
-Woody Allen
(Really good advice from an archetypal bumbling idiot)

9. Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.
-A. Lawrence Lowell

10. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.
-George W. Bush