Funny Quotes from the Movie Killers

So, the movie "Killers" starring Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl is rather unrealistic and underdeveloped, but there are enough funny moments to make it worth watching. The following quotes from the movie Killers were written by screenwriters Bob DeRosa and Ted Griffin.

Funny Quote No. 1

This dialogue takes place on an airplane where the Kornfeldts are traveling on vacation. In the movie Killers, Katherine Heigl plays the character Jen Kornfeldt; Mrs. Kornfeldt is her mother and is played by the always funny actress Catherine O'Hara; and Mr. Kornfeldt is the father and is played by actor Tom Selleck.

Mrs. Kornfeldt (to flight attendant): Three chardonnays please.
Mr. Kornfeldt: No, none for me. I always remain alert when flying.
Jen Kornfeldt: Me neither.
Mrs. Kornfeldt: Just the three chardonnays then.

Funny Quote No. 2

This funny quote is spoken by actress Catherine O'Hara and is from the scene on the plane where the family is discussing whether Jen's recent break-up with her boyfriend.

Mrs. Kornfeldt: It was mutual... They agreed to part ways when he dumped her.

Funny Quote No. 3

This quote from the movie Killers is also from the opening bit on the airplane after Jen has been made uncomfortable by her parents conversation.

Mr. Kornfeldt: And the emergency exit is...?
Jen: 13 D. Trust me, I know it... I'm about to throw myself out of it.

Funny Quote No. 4

The following quote from Killers is said to actress Katherine Heigl and spoken (in French) by actor Ashton Kutcher who plays the character Spencer Aimes. Even though the movie line is said by Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl's acting added humor to the scene. It takes places during the part where Spencer and Jen have just met and it appears Spencer is following her. She keeps turning back to look at him and finally he says...

Spencer: Amazing. You look more surprised every time you see me.

Funny Quote No. 5

This line is from a scene between actors Tom Selleck and Ashton Kutcher.

Mr. Kornfeldt (to Spencer): This is not Candyland. Unlock trucks get stolen which is why careful men use the garage.