Funny Quotes About Women by Famous Women

Women have been an enigma for many. Philosophers and thinkers have been baffled by the way a women's mind and emotions work. While some try to understand her dogmatic persona, others try to answer the feelings in her ardent heart. But what do women feel about being a woman? This compilation of funny women quotes gets it all out from the horse's mouth. Enjoy this selection of funny women quotes by famous women that treads the lighter and humorous side of her personality.

Funny Quotes About Women By Famous Women

"You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping." ~ Cindy Crawford; American former model

"Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace." ~ Marianne Williamson, Spiritual activist, author, lecturer, "A Woman's Worth"

"If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman." ~ Margaret Thatcher; Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

"There's a little bit of hooker in every woman. A little bit of hooker and a little bit of God." ~ Sarah Miles; English theater and film actress.

"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking." Elayne Boosler; American Comedian and Activist.

"The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself." ~Elizabeth Metcalf; American actress

"Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women." ~ Elsa Schiaparelli; Italian fashion designer

"The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is." ~ Helen Rowland; American journalist and humorist.

"Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions" ~ Jules Michelet; French Historian. 1798-1874

"Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over thirty." ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships." Gilda Radner; American comedian and actress

"A woman is like a tea bag, you can not tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water" ~ Nancy Reagan; Former First Lady of United States

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."~ Roseanne; American Actress and Comedian

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there" ~ Betty Grable; American film Actress

"There are no ugly women, only lazy ones" ~ Helena Rubinstein; Polish born American Philanthropist and cosmetician, 1870-1965

"I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out." ~ Dolly Parton; American country Singer and Actress, b.1946)

"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."~ Elayne Boosler, Comedian

"Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl's best friend is still a nearsighted man." Yoko Ono; Japanese artist, musician, author and peace activist

"Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman." ~ Kathy Lette; Australian author