Funny Retirement Gifts for Geezers Under $30

Funny retirement gifts for geezers will them know you care even if you don't care enough to spend more than $30. These are 10 gag gifts for geezers facing retirement.

Credit Crunch Survival Kit: The oldster who's been retired prematurely but has a sense of humor about it may appreciate this gag gift. It includes itsy bitsy beer glasses so he can budget his ale, and decision dice for choosing between eating or heating. ($7.70)

Toilet Golf Putter: Just when you get more time to spend on the golf course, your prostate may keep you in the bathroom. With this funny retirement gift for geezers, he can lay down the green rug, hang out the do not disturb sign, and putt away. ($23)

Novelty Aprons: Why waste money on liposuction and gyms? Create instant 6 pack abs and perky bosoms with these gifts for geezers. Choose from Macho Man, Perky Woman and more. ($23)

Dog End Tea Towel Holder: You can literally put the dog eat dog corporate world behind you with this tea towel holder. It looks like a Dalmatian's rear end. ($20)

Backwards Clock: Retirement naturally makes many seniors think about mortality. You can't give them more time but you can make it look that way with a clock that runs backwards. ($23)

Wind-Up Racing Grannies: Inspire the older woman in your life to keep her bones strong and stay mobile. These racing granny wind-up toys use walkers but hopefully she'll never have to. ($12.30)

Tight Arse Wallet: If retirement is turning you into a tightwad, this gag gift will let the world know you're not buying the first round. It's a simple leather wallet with the words in big print. ($23)

Lav Nav Toilet Night Light: Don't spend your golden years fumbling in the dark for the toilet. This funny retirement gift for geezers serves as a nightlight, targeting system, and reminder to put that seat down. The light attaches to the toilet seat and turns on as you approach in green if the seat is down or red if someone left it up. ($30)

Finger Shaped Ear and Nose Hair Trimmer: Face it. Your hair may now be growing everywhere but on your scalp. This gag gift really works and it looks like a finger. ($9.95)

Geezer Crossing Headband: Keep safe with a bright yellow sign on your head to warn that there's a geezer crossing. ($4.24)

These are 10 great cheap and funny retirement gifts for geezers who may have it all but can't remember where they put it.