Funny Thanksgiving Quotes To Make You Chuckle

Thanksgiving can get pretty stressful with the planning of the meal and coming of the guests. These funny Thanksgiving quotes will lighten you up and give you something to chuckle about.

Share these funny Thanksgiving quotes at the dinner table, use it in a card, scrapbook or a photo album.
Or, simply let the turkey be in the oven and the sauce on the stove, kick your heels, relax on the couch, take a deep breath and enjoy these funny Thanksgiving quotes.

"Thanksgiving is possible only for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory" - Author Unknown

"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor" - Phyllis Diller

"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence." Erma Bombeck

"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." Iry Kupcinet

"We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing."-George Carlin

"I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel
thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year.
And then discover once a year is way too often."- Johnny Carson

"You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out." - Jay Leno

"Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year."-P.J. O'Rourke

"I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself."- Mitch Hedberg

"Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before."- Rita Rudner

What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? ~Erma Bombeck, "No One Diets on Thanksgiving," 26 November 1981

Some hae meat and canna eat, -
And some wad eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.
~Robert Burns

The thing I'm most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. ~Author Unknown

Have any more funny Thanksgiving quotes up your sleeve? Share them in the comment section below.

Happy Thanksgiving!