Funny Things Said

I just read a couple of articles by Angela Russell on the origins of sayings and, for some reason, they got me thinking about some of the funny things I have heard. Not things said by famous people, just said by people in my life.

In high school, my science teacher was talking about the dangers of a coal burning furnace. He said, "You need to check and make sure there are no cracks in the firebox of your coal burning furnace or you might wake up in the morning dead." This got a laugh out of the class, but his straight face when he said it told me he had no idea he said anything silly until after he had said it.

I think the funniest dumb thing I ever heard was said by my brother. When we were kids, around ten and twelve, my foster mother used to ask a specific question when we did something wrong that was pretty stupid. She'd ask, "What do you have between your ears?"

One day my brother had done something that wasn't very smart. I can't recall what it was, just that it wasn't brilliant. And out came my foster mother's question, "What do you have between your ears?"

Unbeknownst to me, my brother had been honing his answer to this question for some time and had even gotten it down to a one word answer. He answered with all honesty, and as if it were a fact everyone with a brain should know, "Earwax."

"Earwax!" my foster mother exclaimed and burst into laughter. She laughed so hard she either forgot to punish my brother or she figured if he thought all he had between his ears was earwax, he was being punished enough.

My brother later tried to explain his answer to me. He said our brains were higher up in our heads and there was nothing between our ears except a space filled with earwax. I don't know where he had gotten that information, but obviously not from health class.

I often wondered what my foster mother's reaction would have been if he had answered, "Space," instead of, "Earwax."

Well, Angela, maybe that's where the saying, "Nothing up there but space," came from.

Here's a few more sayings that go along with, "Nothing up there but space":

He/She doesn't have both oars in the water.

The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.

The lights are on, but nobody's home.

There's no lights on in the attic.

A half of a brick short of a full load.

A couple of sandwiches short of a picnic.

And, of course, there's always the comment about someone having a "blonde moment."