Funny Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids

Valentine's Day jokes are always popular with kids. Here's a collection of my favorites from down through the years. Most would go well on home made greeting cards that kids could make. Hope you enjoy!

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.

Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed', guess who' ?
A: A divorce lawyer.

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an apple.

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand? Valentine Joke

Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.

Q: What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.

Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
A: You get buttered up.

Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.

Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
A: Antelope.

Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A: Hogs and Kisses!

Q: What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
A: "Be my valenstein!"

Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A: Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Q: What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
A: He gives it a Valenshine!

Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
Boy: "Really?"
Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"

Q: Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?
A: Because you can really party hearty!

Q: What did the cholcolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: "I'm sweet on you!"

Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
A: It was Valenswine's Day!

Q: What do you call a very small valentine?
A: A valentiny!

Q: Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?
A: Because they needed to be ad-dressed!

Q: What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
A; "I love you with all my art!"

Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A: A hug and a quiche!

Q: Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?
A: Because you always heart the one you love!

Q: What is a ram's favorite song?
A:I only have eyes for ewe, Dear

Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A: Ughs and kisses!

Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day?
A: I Love Ewe!

Q: What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day?
A: Owl be yours!

Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?
A: Cauliflowers!

Q: What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
A: I'm nuts about you!

Q; What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day?
A: You're nuts so bad yourself!

Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: I find you very attractive.

Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A: You're fun to hang around with.

Q: What did one light bulb say to the other?
A: I love you a whole watt!

Q: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
A: I love you a ton!

Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: I'm sweet on you!

Q: Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A: He fell in love with a pin cushion!

Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
A: I dot my i's on you!

Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
A: You mean a great dill to me.