Funny Voicemail Greeting You'd Hear If You Called God

It seems like everyone these days has a cell phone. Even very young children have them. You see kids texting in the mall and even older gentlemen using the walkie-talkie feature. Bottom line it, if you are in with the times, you have a phone or in other words a way to get a hold of you.

Let's take God, for instance. Sure, you can pray and the all seeing, all knowing God that we should fear and love will hear you. But what if you could call him directly and get his voicemail? That way you could quite possibly get a call back from the Almighty? This is not a mockery of Him at all, it is simply a humorous look at what it could be like if Our Heavenly Father was technologically enabled like mankind is here on Earth.

I thought I would humor myself and others and give you an idea of what God's voicemail greeting might sound like:

"Hello, you've reached God, your Heavenly Father. I knew you were going to call me because,let's be real, I am all seeing and all knowing. Speaking of which, don't you dare think I haven't forgotten about that little transgression of yours last week with your office's secretary. I'll be waiting for your prayer asking for forgiveness. Anywho, I'm either at my daily prayer vigil, doing damage control for all of humankind, trying to get 5 seconds to myself from the billions of praying voices, performing a miracle, unleashing a devastating plague or at my weekly poker game. Hey, I gotta have fun, too. For the record, I do not condone gambling, nor do I have a problem with gambling. Gosh darned it! Where is that extra ace? Probably in my other robe. Follow what I do, not as I say. Have a blessed day! Peace!"

I know it's kind of corny, but it is funny to think about. I'd love to hear what you guys think His voicemail message might say, too!