Gaining Weight: Easy Ways to Pack on the Pounds

I am definitely not a nutrition or fitness expert, but I do believe that I have the keys to gaining weight. I have known these for years and figure it is about time that I share my secrets with you. I want you to be informed and to know that the best possible way for you to gain weight is to follow these simple principles below. You will need to follow several of these tips at once if you want to gain a lot of weight and gain it fast!

Give up on exercising.
You must stop exercising altogether. Do not even think about getting out and taking a walk or popping in that exercise DVD. Whenever you have a chance to drive, do it! Park as close as you can to where you are going and never choose to take the stairs. You must decide now that when your kids or grandkids want to play outside, remember to plop down in a comfy chair and don't be too active. Sitting in front of the TV all weekend is the best way to pack on extra pounds.

Eat fast food as much as you can.
You have to admit that going through the drive through is a lot easier than preparing a meal. So, the more often you do this, the less often you will have to cook. When you are faced with your selection at the drive up window, make sure you choose the burger and fries instead of the grilled chicken and side salad. Don't forget to super size it!

Snack throughout the day.
It is very important to snack throughout the day and in between meals. Make sure that you have quick snacks available. Candy bars, chips, crackers, Little Debbies, cookies, and anything prepackaged will work fine. Do not grab an apple, a bunch of grapes, a few carrots, or a handful of raisins if you really want to gain weight. Eating healthy snacks will only hinder your progress.

Stop eating fresh fruits and vegetables.
Eliminate fruits and vegetables from your diet and you will surely gain weight. If you just have to eat them then canned is the way to go! Make sure your green beans have salt added and corn is best when it has been sweetened with some sugar. Canned vegetables are much easier to prepare and already seasoned for you. Add some butter and you are ready to dig in. If you must eat fruit, sprinkle with sugar or top with whip cream for extra calories.

Eat lots of red and fatty meat.
When planning your meals, try to incorporate red and fatty meat into your recipes. You can use ground beef, steak, roast, ham, or sausage as the main ingredient and then add a cheesy potato dish and some rolls and yum! Tacos, hamburgers, pizza with meat toppings are some of the easiest to make. Your meal will surely leave you feeling full and ready to engage in some serious TV watching. It is important to remember that you should not eat fish, chicken or lean turkey or beef in place of any red meat.

Use packaged items for your side dishes.
This will save you time preparing meals. It is so much easier to open a box, dump the ingredients in a dish, and pop in the microwave. There are some tasty dishes out there and you can save time grocery shopping by not selecting fresh produce. The work has been done for you; the factory has given you a product that is quick, easy, and so processed that it will last forever on your pantry shelf.

Add rich and creamy dips, dressings, and sauces to your diet.
Whenever possible, add rich and creamy dressing to your salad, dip your chips and veggies in your favorite french onion dip, and add sauces like melted cheese to everything. Do not use light or fat free if you really want to gain weight and never eat simple dishes without all the extras.

Eat desserts after every meal.
You may choose to only eat a dessert after dinner, but you will gain more weight if you enjoy a yummy cookie after lunch too! There are so many delicious pies, cakes, and cookies available that you could literally have a different one after every meal for a month. Don't even bother eating fruit as a sweet treat because you won't gain weight doing this.

Drink tons of sugary drinks especially soda and Starbucks.
You should drink a lot of soda throughout your day. It will give you a sugar high and be sure to have another one ready to avoid the sugar crash. If you keep this cycle up, you will make it through the day and fall into bed early. Starbucks is another way to gain weight fast. Be sure to get the largest size possible and ask for extra whip cream. Do not get the light versions ever - this will only make gaining weight more difficult.

As you can see, I am not an expert, but I do have some great ideas for gaining weight. The most important thing to remember is to throw self-control out the window, get rid of anyone who might hold you accountable, and save some money so you can go shopping for some bigger clothes!