Gas Prices Drop. Bush Approval Rating Rises

The latest Gallup poll indicates that 48% of the American public believes that President Bush has manipulated gas prices to gain approval and influence the upcoming elections. In the last presidential election the Democratic vote was approximately 48%. Logic concludes that Gallup is, in reality, trying to influence the election by reporting the dissatisfaction of stanch Democrats.

Now the dilemma is which theory to believe. Bush-gas? Gallup-Dems? If there is one thing I know for a fact, 58.7% of all statistics are fabricated and 37.6% of anyone presented with these statistics will believe them 12% of the time. However, only 22.3% of the people who read that sentence will understand the point.

Facts are simple; statistics are not; opinion even less so. Belief? Well, belief is a leap of faith. Conspiracy is even a bigger leap of faith. To imagine that one, two, even a cabal of people has the ability to influence the free market is a tremendous leap. Certainly, what a president may say can cause a bump in the market, but the market is bigger than any one man. Even the president of the United States can not redirect a global economy, much less the price of gasoline, even less the results of a poll.

Gold! I heard on the radio this morning that gold is on the rise. I read something different in the Wall Street Journal. I might buy some gold. Maybe I won't. There is no shortage of brokers that would love to send a prospectus. If someone could influence the price of gold, the brokers themselves would be buying and cleaning up.

The plethora of conspiracies around the Bush administration never ceases to amaze. Let's see how many we can list:

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• Bush knew 9/11 was going to happen and did nothing to stop it.
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• Bush planned 9/11 with the help of the English royal family.
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• Bush allowed 9/11 to happen so that the Jews, Rush Limbaugh, and big corporations could profit from war.
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• Bush actually flew the plane into the second tower.
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• Bush ignored the victims of Katrina because they were Black.
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• Bush actively stalled federal relief to Katrina victims because they were Black.
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• Bush has a weather machine and created Katrina to kill Black people.
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• Bush hates Black people.
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• Bush rigged the 2000 election so that big corporations could upset welfare recipients.
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• Bush invaded Iraq so that oil companies, Ann Coulter, and Rush Limbaugh could have enough fodder to ruin Al Franken and Air America.
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• Bush caused the Cubs to lose to the Marlins in Game 7 of the National League Championship Series so that the Jews, SUV owners, oil companies, white men, and big corporations could oppress Muslims.
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• Bush lowered taxes for his rich friends so that SUV owners and big corporations would use more oil, in turn making Bush richer.
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• Bush has not captured Osama bin Laden so that Jews and Ann Coulter can run the upcoming Republican convention.
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• Bush has captured Osama bin Laden, but is waiting for the Republican convention to trot him out.
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• Bush had Michael Jackson arrested to distract the public from Rush Limbaugh's and the Christian Coalition's plot to kill Michael Moore.
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• Bush went back in time and killed the dinosaurs so he would have oil.
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• Bush broke up the Beatles.
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The sad thing is that 48% of the American public will believe 74% of the conspiracy theories just listed. Psychology tells us that when a person feels powerless, instead of working to actively change the balance of power, 92% will create a fantasy world of blame. It is easier to be the victim than to realize you are not popular because of your own ideology.

Psychology? Who buys that bunk? Maybe it would be easier if we all became Scientologist. We could, but that would mean we were in bed with Bush. You see, Bush, the Masons, and the Scientologist are all manipulating the price of gas to boost Bush's ratings and influence the outcome of the 2006 election. If I do find Osama, I just might move into the cave with him. I would feel safer.