Gavin ~ Seduction and Always on My Mind

The next few days passed in a flurry of motions, many things happened and moving was brought up for the first time. I was debating on making another go of my marriage, or at least pretend to for the kids' sake. The only way to do that was to get out of Portland. Deep inside of me I knew that there was nothing to salvage, but we would try to keep appearances up for their sake.

It was clear that we both would live our separate lives.

Gavin kept coming to me in my sleep and I don't know how many times I must have called his name out in my sleep. On the tenth night after my last visit I had yet another very strong dream that unsettled me. Enough indeed to share it with one of the "friends" I had made in church.

Over a cup of coffee I recounted my dream to her.

"I went into the club and was giving a box once again, only this time it was a very large box. I took it and thanked the kid at the door. When I opened it, I found a dress inside.

I went into the Ladies-room and slipped it on. In my dream I noticed how well it fit me and that it appeared to have been tailored to fit my measurements. The material was hugging each of my curves almost lovingly. It was of the purest white, with the pearls and rhinestones forming an interesting pattern, similar to a spell charm out of a magic-book. As I looked into the mirror, I noticed that my hair had changed and that I now had long brown hair. A dark rich color. It hung in loose curls down my back and only held in check on my head with a Tiara. I wore long gloves, the whole ensemble giving me the appearance of a royal bride. I stepped into the club and everyone parted ways.

The music was playing and I knew that the music was playing just for me this time. I danced and allowed myself to get lost in the sounds, this time it was Frank that came up to me and caught me around the waist. I laughed at him, not feeling any threat. Frank leaned down and spoke to me in low tones just as Gavin would have done.

You need to leave, you don't belong in this place and you will end up being the end of Gavin. Those of the Night cannot be with those of the Light. Look how you shine and disturb the peace of this place.

I looked around and noticed that everywhere I had stepped, light pure and white were shooting up

into the air.

Gavin came toward me, but could not get within the reach of me. I was surrounded purely by the

light and it seemed to hurt his eyes and body.

I touched him and he screamed in agony, yet reached out to me and held on for dear life. The contact was torture for him. I could see it and tried to get him to break the hold, but he would not let go.

"No", he screamed at me," don't let go. Warm me; it only hurts because I have not felt for so long." In my dream I spat out blood, but no matter where the blood would hit, it would fall right of me and the dress would remain white.

I woke up, tears falling over my face."

I was crying in earnest, the sobs shaking my body.

My friend told me that the dream showed me as the bride of Christ and that I was bringing the children of darkness back home, but I did not believe her. I knew that the dream meant something other then what I was being told.

Still I felt better having shared the dream with another.

I returned to the club the following Saturday, wearing the necklace that Gavin had sent me, snugly around my neck.

As I entered the club, the youngster handed me a box the size and shape of that of my dream.

My heart was raising and I was afraid to open it.

As I was finally overcome by curiosity and opened the box, my heart threatened to stop.

Inside was the ensemble from my dream. With it was a floor length black velvet cape. I went to the Ladies-room as I had done in my night fancy and put my dress on. It fit me like the caressing hands of a lover. To my relief I noticed that my hair had remained the deep auburn color that I had dyed to.

I walked across the candle lit room, my long auburn hair billowing out behind me like a silken curtain.

The room was filled with men and women. A Menagerie of various darkly erotic moods. Body seemingly pressed against black or gothic clothed body. The heat of the Bodies reminding me of the embraces of multitudes of lovers in passionate embraces, yet I cleaved my way through their midst so easily it was reminiscent of a hot knife sliding its way through butter.

Was it a trick of my mind or was I truly hearing the beating of those many hearts in perfect rhythm?

This time I forwent the seat on the couch and the drink of red wine but found and claimed my space on the dance floor immediately giving my very being over to the soul searing sounds of the music. The heavy stage fog and the dim lighting of the million of candles hurt my eyes and I closed them tightly. Drowning out all but the vibrations of sound and movement.

My body took on a mind of its own. I worshiped my own sensuality with every undulating step I

took. I raised my hands high above my head as if in silent prayer and then letting they fall gracefully, outstretched to my side. Moving like a human cross, bending in the wind of emotion.

As a Soul, Wings outstretched, I felt as if I could fly. Mind exhilarated I was ready to lift off into the air, to soar, to dance among the very stars.

The music shifted its speed and the tones took on a hauntingly beautiful sound. I began to spin slowly, round and round until I glide to the ground in breathless exultation, completely lost in the feelings of freedom and joy. I did not notice the approaching figure or the respectful opening of a pathway.

Shivers ran over my skin, as I first felt the soft caress on my cheek. An instant battle between annoyance at being disturbed and wonderful pleasure at the gentleness of the unexpected touch raged in me. Reluctantly I opened my eyes. Weary to break the heady spell that had slowly woven its magic.

The touch of a whisper gliding over my cheek, my neck, along the deep décolleté of the gown. A

bare suggestion of a touch no more then the whisper of petals on a Rose, the Petals of a perfectly formed black Rose. My breath caught in my throat. I bended my head back and raised my hand as if to shield myself. The hand was grasped in a larger one. Wordlessly I found myself lifted up into a pair of strong Arms.

Not wishing to wake, eyes closed once again, I tried to enjoy the feeling for just a moment or so I promised myself.

At the beginning I could feel the measured movements of dance, but soon the direction became one of purpose. The movements lost the soft swaying of a feather dancing on the wind or Water, and turned into the purposeful stride of one with a destination and goal to reach. Still I did not open my eyes, so wonderfully warm against his chest.

After a while the shadows of the candles playing on my closed eyelids faded away and the echo of his footfall indicated that he was carrying me down a Pathway. Soon I felt him lean against a door to close it after us. The music was completely gone. My instinct told me that we were alone. Gently he lowered me on a sleeping palette. There he pulled his arms from around me and stepped away.

A startling feeling of being bereft washed over me. I craved his warmth, the warmth of the One who had so stealthily and safely conveyed me to this unknown place.

A movement told me that I was no longer alone on the stead. A hand reached for the fastening of my cape and quickly found the clasp that had secured it. With a quick flick of the finger Gavin undid the catch and in fluid motion the velvet was removed to expose my bare Arms and Shoulders. I heard the quick intake of breath that followed so promptly.

A Shadow towering over me was all I saw through the still closed lids. Slowly the Shadow came closer and closer until at last I felt the strangely erotic feel of a heavy curtain of long flowing hair on my shoulder. A pleasant fragrance coming from the veil of natures' beauty. Almost instantly the touch was followed by a pair of silken lips at the swell of my chest. A kiss so light I wasn't sure if it was reality or a dream placed upon my bosom. Too quick to know he lifted himself

away, a simple tease to my senses. I was left to wonder at the ability to breathe, dragging in a deep breath just to let it out in an involuntary sigh.

"Open your eyes and look at me!"

The words were spoken low and husky, the Voice seasoned in its deep masculine Tenor. I opened my eyes slowly, not able to disobey the soft command.

What I beheld was an Angel come to earth, lost without his wings upon this wretched Planet. Yet, no Angel would have such a burning gaze, so full of Passion and Hunger. NO Angel would have such deep dark bottomless eyes that beckoned you to fall deep into their midst.

The candlelight was playing in the multitude of shades in the darkness of his hair, bringing it to life and almost begging me to reach out and touch it gently, carefully. His face was chiseled as to do honor to a roman God. He was Perfection.

I starred at him, totally and utterly lost. Afraid to move for fear to make him disappear, wishing for the courage to just reach out and touch, but feeling to shy for such a move.

"Do I please your senses?"

Again the Voice so deep and rich in Tenor it made shivers run along my spine. A Voice refusing to be ignored, yet barely above a whisper.

Suddenly, I wanted nothing more then to hide, hide my inadequacy from his gaze. My mildly rounded figure, the less then perfect skin. Surely such imperfections must be an affront to his

very nature. Quickly I tried to roll away from him, from his sharp gaze. Trying to avoid the moment when the disgust in his face would appear. He had other ideas. Gently yet firmly he returned me to my back and willed me to take in the rest of him. I obliged half breathless.

His Torso was covered by a midnight blue Shirt of fine material. The Style you might find a Poet of old wearing. His lower Body was encased in tight black pants, outlining his muscular legs. An equally black masculine version of my cape was slung carelessly over his back. His entire physique and stance bespoke well-cultivated power. The kind of power that comes natural and cannot be learned.

"Do I please you?"

The question was issued again, this time more insistent then the last. He meant to have an answer. In a voice barely above a Whisper I gave it.

"Yes, so very much!"

Shame flooded through me so intensely, the uncomfortable heat cursing through me, a reminder that my thoughts were out of line.

Very human mind you, but out of line. Yet control was slipping away from me. Never before in my life did I want to be taken so badly as at this second, to be made so entirely another person

own.

As in answer to my silent wish he lowered his head, kissing the swell of my breast, pushing the skirts up slightly to reveal the black stockings beneath. He ran his hand along my thigh so close to my secret place that I drew in my breath in quick unsteady droughts. My back arched in open invitation to him.

"You are lovely little one."

His voice added fuel to this unfamiliar desire awakening inside of me. It took me over and ran rampant in me. I was nothing but putty in his hands, with him the Master Manipulator forming me after his will and design. His mouth slid up toward my throat, kissing and tasting as he advanced.

A soft growl escaped his throat before he brought his heated lips to my willing ones. The kiss was deep, oh so deep. It seemed to touch my soul.

He broke away; his face grimaced as if in inner battle with himself. My eyes flew open as I looked at him questioning. What had I done to push him away?

My eyelids felt so heavy as if tons of weights were placed upon them, I felt as if I were in a state of a trance.

"If I would die right now," I thought to myself, "laying here in this bed of Silk and Rose Petals I would not mind at all."

"I do not wish you death, my beloved"; his voice intoned next to my ear as if in a silent answer to

the thoughts. There was a slight quiver in his voice, so small that I wondered if it was my imagination.

He rolled onto his side. His hands so sure and strong were gentle as they unfastened my bodice. So careful was he in his administrations, he seemed to fear I would break beneath his Grip.

My breathing grew shallower still by every passing moment and I feared to pass out.

Desiring and seeking only more of his touches. Mentally asking for more....more......more.

But not daring to say the words out loud.

The garment was discarded in seconds and I lay before him, a soft offering, glad only in black stockings and heels.

I averted my gaze for fear to see disgust. Thinking myself so much less then most, believe in my own beauty shattered so long ago.

He however saw no flaw, only endearing differences. A Work of Art which he craved to explore. His words, proclaiming it to be so caused my soul to soar once more.

His hand rested on my hip for a second, enjoying the softness and warmth of my skin. Even there with this slight touch, he could feel me drawing in my breath.

Quietly and under his breath he chuckled to himself, whispering ": So untouched with love."

My natural scent rose up to him, a heady invitation to forbidden pleasure. He leaned over me once more to nuzzle my neck.

Taking the scent and taste of my skin. Exhilarated by the feel of my Pulse fluttering beneath his lips and stroking tongue like so many little Butterflies trying to fly free. My Senses reeled and no matter how hard I tried, I could not stop the little cry of passion and the soft moans coming from deep within my soul.

His hands slipped up my body and found rest, cupping my breast. My back arched in offering, pushing myself more into his hand. He felt an all too familiar fever rise, boiling like hot lava, bubbling to the surface. He dipped his head and pulled the rose blossom into his mouth, suckling on it eagerly. His teeth scraping the roused Pebble. The teeth strangely sharp against them, but not unpleasant.

I no longer looked away, but needed to see him. Needed to see in his eyes. The overwhelming desire to touch him, became too much and with a soft moan of surrender I gave in to the need.

He sensed the gaze and returned to his former place by my side, his hands never once leaving my body.

Slowly I reached out and grasped a lock of raven hair. It was even more luxurious then it looked. I let it slide through my fingers and only trapped the very tips. I touched his face carefully, tracing the lines of his features with my fingertips. He was chilled and without much thought I snuggled closer to him once more seeking to give him of my heat. My lips pressed to his neck in imitation of what he had done just moments before, wishing to give pleasure so divine for pleasure

unspeakable. His skin tasted of salt as one might taste when sucking at a cut to stop the bleeding, but oh his skin did have a heady scent. I lifted myself away and found myself drown in his eyes. He reached in turn for my hair and entwining his hands into it, brought my head to rest upon his chest, cradling me against it.

He fought a battle of his own. What would he do? His hunger had risen past the normal and yet another hunger, one of possession as old as day had overtaken him as well. I was his for the taking, so sweetly offered, so fully his. So ready with my blood heated in passion. My arousal and heady scent of blood intermingled and presenting a bouquet of unbelievable enticement to his senses.

His shift from seductive gentleness to animalistic passion surprised me. He pushed me roughly on my back and tearing at his clothes uncovered his Body. The skin a perfect alabaster. My eyes grew large as I took him in, in his entire splendor. So fully man and ready.

He raised himself between my legs and drove himself deeply into my core without as much as a warning.

"Close your eyes!" he growled, not taking any objections. He could not bare my eyes on him as he prepared to have me fully. Impaling me over and over again. Pinned beneath him I felt as if a Lance of unnatural Fire was being driven through me. A Fire so hot and yet so cold at the same time. I screamed in total surrender as he claimed my Body.

As the sounds poured from my lips, he lowered his mouth to my neck once more and pulling back his lips revealed his teeth so sharp and pointed. He pierced my flesh and drank of my essence in all its glory. His moans mixed with mine as the pleasure drove through him. Warming his skin and if he wouldn't been so sure that he had no soul, he would have sworn his soul as well. He could feel me fully yield beneath him and he had to force restraint onto himself. At last I heard a deep Roar of Pleasure and Pain as I fainted away.

My head throbbed as I woke the next morning in my Bed. Looking down on, I found my body covered only with a Sheet. My limps felt oddly used and limb. I wasn't sure if I had dreamed it all.

Turning to my side I saw the note laying on a Pillow, it was attached to a single black Rose. A perfectly formed black Rose, something I had come to associate with Gavin now. The writing on the Note was exquisite, penned with careful precision. The Ink a thick and rich red.

"My beloved, I could not fight my desire any longer. I found love in you. I need to behold you again and bid you to beware the dance of the Vampyre, for now and until eternity you are mine. I will watch you from the Shadows always!"

A single red tear was the eerie Signature and a strange sensation deep in my Womb told me the meaning of the dance.

After that the days sped by. We packed our belonging that we were able to take and packed

everything in our little car. I seemed to leave a lifetime of memories behind, but I knew it had to be done.

At night I slept fitfully with a strange hunger cursing through my veins. My appearance had changed as well even so I could not put my finger on what it was. People seemed to stare at me and I found myself sensual if not beautiful when gazing in the mirror. My eyes had taken on a sparkle.

Gavin was in my dreams every night, holding me and talking to me. Begging me not to go, not now.

The day came when I had to leave and I went to the Club. It was closed during the daytime of course, but still I laid a black Rose and a picture of myself in front of the door behind the Gate. I knew that Gavin would receive my farewell gift and would understand its meaning.

It has been a couple of years now since I was last in the Place of my "rebirth." Ever so often I find myself wishing to return and dance again among those that I found acceptance with.

My life did not turn out the way I hoped and we did get divorced after all. I now live in Sin City Las Vegas and watch the face of the young Goth children. Remembering and sometimes yearning for a time that cannot be again.

As for Gavin, I still feel him at times and I know that he is still watching me from the shadows, waiting to be called back into my life. Listening silently as I talk to him in the dark.

Ever so often when I find myself in a situation in which I fear or am lonely, I remember him the most the one that had taught me never to judge from the appearance of things and to embrace that what lives within each of us.

A little bit of the Beast.