Gay Marriage: Are You and Your Partner Ready to Take the Big Step?

With the political climate in the country changing, gay people have been collectively talking about something that many thought they would never have in their lifetime. The chance that gays will be allowed to legally recognize their partnership through a civil union is becoming a very likely reality. It would appear that civil unions will be recognized, possibly even by the federal government, within the next several years. While this is a time of excitement for many gay couples, it is also a time when caution must be heeded. Gay people need to enter into legal partnerships with common sense so they do not make a mockery out of the institution of civil unions.

For years, gay people have struggled to have legally recognized partnerships in the form of civil unions. While ultimately striving for gay marriage, most have found that civil unions are the path that must be taken to get to marriage. Civil unions offer all of the benefits of marriage, without actually being called "marriage." It would be a dramatic step for gay people in America to be able to have the same partnership rights as heterosexual citizens. That is why, when civil unions are granted, gay people must respect the institution and make sure they have a solid relationship before they take legal steps to cement it. It is incredibly important that gay people are not seen entering into something that has been fought so hard for lightly. If heterosexuals see a high separation rate amongst gays who have entered into a civil union, they will be able to use that as ammunition against the gay community. Gay people need to show themselves as sensible, reasonable people who understand the importance of a civil union.

It is understandable that gay couples would want to jump into a civil union if allowed to do so. It would be history making and groundbreaking, and it would be difficult to not take part in something that a person has been denied for so long. However, if you have just met someone, do not rush into a civil union with that person just because the laws have changed and you can. It would be a slap in the face of civil unions. It would also be a slap in the face of those who spent a lifetime fighting so they could marry their partner of twenty years. A legal civil union is not supposed to be a second date.

Also, if you and your partner argue a lot, a civil union will not be the cure. A civil union is not going to strengthen a relationship. It will grant partners legal rights, but it does not offer marriage and relationship counseling services. If the relationship is not stable before the vows are said, it certainly will not be stable afterwards. If anything, it will only get worse, and fast. Make sure you and your partner have a strong relationship before taking the leap of a civil union.

If, however, you and your partner have a strong relationship and are ready to legally unite, definitely take that step and enter into a civil union if you live in a state where you can do so. However, if you are not one of the lucky few that live in a state that recognizes civil unions, there are still some things you can do. First, you and your partner need to get a list of your assets. Take the list to an attorney who handles gay and lesbian issues and explain to him or her that you would like to ensure that your partner is taken care of when you die. Instruct the attorney to make a will with your partner as the beneficiary. Also, have the lawyer construct a power of attorney granting both you and your partner certain rights if the other were to become ill. While not as legally encompassing as a civil union, it is a good start in ensuring partner rights.

Gay couples can also ask the attorney to help them change their last name. While not a tool that will allow couples more rights, gay couples could share the same last name, which would help make the relationship get more recognition. Even though sharing a last name might be something that heterosexual couples take for granted, it can really bring a gay couple together. It can be very meaningful to change your name to your partner's last name as an anniversary gift or as a gift for another special occasion. Then, if you are able to enter a civil union with your partner down the road, you will already share a last name.

Also, even if a gay couple is not allowed to have a civil union, they can still have a civil ceremony. Invite your friends and family, hire someone to officiate, and allow your friends and family to take part in the love that you and your partner share. While it is not legally binding, it is still a way to show the world that you and your partner are in it for the long haul.

Change is in the air, and it is time for gay couples to get the rights they deserve. In the meantime, gay couples need to evaluate their relationships and decide if the person sitting next to them on the sofa in 2008 is the same person they want sitting next to them in 2028. If that is the case, then take a stand. Stand up and allow your voice to be heard. Get political and see what you can do in order to make the changes necessary for civil unions to be legalized in every state. It's a fight for all gay people, and every person needs to be on the front lines, doing their best to make a difference. Civil unions can be legalized, if the gay community unites and fights for what they believe in.