Gay? Straight? Who Cares!

In the words of former New Jersey governor James McGreevey, I am a Gay American. So? I still put my leather chaps on one leg at a time like everyone else. All kidding aside, I doubt I'll ever understand the dividing line between homosexuals and heterosexuals. We work in the same places, eat in the same restaurants, and even (mostly) go to the same churches. Okay, our taste in bars is different, but if I could dance with my boyfriend in a straight bar without causing a scene, I'd welcome the change from all that dance music. I still get up every morning, grumble about my job, kiss my partner goodbye and suffer through the same daily indignities as everyone else. It's not like there's this gay never-neverland we all live in that exempts us from the normal human condition of living. We strive, fail, and struggle like any other human being.

When it comes to the subject of relationships, I've never had any problem relating to male or female co-workers. One the bad days I can gripe about my husband like one of the girls, and on the good days I'm as grateful as any other guy to have someone that helps me keep my act together. That analogy may seem a bit simplistic, but life is simplistic. The deeper meaning is that we all exist in the same quagmire of trying to figure out what's relevant in our lives and what our purpose is. Gays and lesbians don't get a special star-studded road map to life that makes things inexorably different for us. The fact that we're sharing a bed with someone of the same gender doesn't make our relationships any less complex than anyone else's.

One of the best quotes I ever heard on the subject of gay marriage was from a Philadelphia deli owner who said, "Let 'em get married. Why shouldn't they suffer like the rest of us?" While that may be a bit pessimistic, it's not an unfair comparison. What is it about throwing the word "gay" into the mix that makes it seem like an exotic and otherworldly lifestyle? The differences between gays and heterosexuals are minute in comparison to the overwhelming truths that we all share.

Politically speaking, I think it's much more important to worry about a universal health care reform or pulling our troops out of Iraq than to worry about the legalities of two weenies going boing-boing-boing in their own bedroom. Gay couples work and pay taxes like everyone else, so if they want the legal recognition that comes with marriage; who cares? There are more important issues on the table to worry about. What my partner and I are doing behind closed doors is far less troublesome than the fact that his 78-year-old mother can't afford the medication she needs to live a normal life or that my own mother is resigned to live off $600 a month for the rest of her life because she was disabled at a relatively young age. Is there anyone that can sanely say that the sexual activity of two consenting adults outweighs the importance of balancing out the legal inequities between middle-class and the rich?

Religion is a dandy excuse for denying others the privileges that others take for granted, but at the end of the day, does the warmth of god's love pay your hospital costs or your dental bills? There's a reason why church and state are supposed to be separate; the comfort of religion isn't equal to the effect of laws that protect your tax dollars. Before anyone starts spouting the book of Leviticus, consider Matthew 7:120 which says, " Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." Christian or otherwise, doesn't that constitute the essence of a fair-minded person? If you look hard enough, we all have our personal anomalies. But, when you step away from the little dots and look at the big picture, the universal condition of what it means to live and love in this country today far outweighs our petty differences.