Gaydar: Nature Versus Nurture

If you're a man and your hair grows in clockwise whorls you might be straight. If it grows in counter clockwise whorls you may be gay. If it grows in both directions your sexuality might be ambiguous.

If you're a man and your ring finger is equal to or shorter than your index finger (in total length) you are may gay. If your ring finger is longer than your index finger you may be straight. If your index and ring fingers are roughly the same size you could go either way.

This is the extent of actual scientific study of genetic markers as it took place this morning on the Tyra Banks show. Six men offered themselves up on the alter that is the Tyra show's catwalk to be assessed for their sexual orientation. They talked the talk, walked the walk, they were observed at a restaurant, and they submitted home movies of themselves for review.

The men were asked to say a specific sentence so the doctor could listen for speech patterns. He proposed that 'S' sounds and articulation may be a clue to sexuality. I think the doctor meant to say he was listening for a lisp and a higher pitch than you would expect to hear in a man. Two things that occur for any number of reasons in either sex and for which children are often sent to speech therapy during elementary school. Not exactly the scientific method. It was obvious once the test subjects began to talk and answer Tyra when she said, "Tell us something about yourself," that the stereotypes were going to come into play. When one of the men who was ambiguous on the hair and hand test said he was a dancer the audible audience response was obviously for him being gay. I think the football player with the right hair pattern, the right sized fingers, who rides a motorcycle and liked camping, is the gay guy but as soon as he said all those things and the audience started whooping and hollering like they were all single and he was a slab of meat on the auction block. He didn't lisp or sound womanly. I guess we'll find out in the end if I'm right.

Test number four is to study home movies. Gay children are gender non-conforming, not as typically masculine as the men who "become gay", at least according to the doctor. And yes, those are his words, become gay. Now if you were a doctor looking physical characteristic to determine sexual orientation, it would stand to reason that these physical characteristics would be genetic markers, things that were in the DNA and couldn't be changed, things that would mean children were born gay and did not become gay. He went on to explain some of what he was looking for in the home movies. Mannerism was part of it; activity choices, and type of dress were the rest. Guinea pig number one waved his arms in from a lowered position at his hip as he fell off the raft in the pool, he was in a theater group as a teen and there was a picture of him with a vest and bow tie sans shirt. Well of course now he's gay as determined by the giddy laughter and chortles of the audience.

Dinner and a catwalk round off the observation set for the doctor and he is ready t give his final analysis. He guessed right on all of them using his intuition and powers of observation. I would say he guessed right because of the physical evidence but he only offered two type of physical evidence and they were both subject to inconsistency.

On #3 the doctor guessed straight and was correct but openly admitted he was vacillating on his opinion with this participant. This happened to be a large man who was a dancer and had an obvious speech impediment. The #4 man was gay but again the quantified his response admitting to vacillation because the man was a hunter, a football player, built like a brick house, walked like a man, talked like a man but there was something about he way he held his beer and utensils at dinner that was the tip off. The #6 straight man was Tyra's gay pick but she swept that stereotypo out of her head to replace it with one for a metro-sexual guy being a guy who will pluck his eyebrows.

What does all this mean? It means the so-called genetic markers were not consistent not conclusive. While the doctor's final decisions, which were mostly based on impressions and intuition were 100%. But he said "I didn't get a PHD for nothing." Well doc if your PHD is for a genetic breakthrough in determining sexual orientation you really shouldn't have one.

Can you tell some gay men by their mannerisms, dress, voice, and choice of attire? Probably. I would say there are definitely some times when someone you meet just screams gay and then there are those sitting on the fence and then those who scream heterosexual. I would also say there are times when your impressions and intuition are wrong.

If you believe people are born gay then it makes complete and utter sense that there would be some genetic marker that says hey we're here, we're queer, get used to it. Something like missing a few bones and muscles in the wrist area would be helpful in identification. That said the study of such a thing wouldn't be outside the realm of science and indeed might even prove quite interesting however I think it might include more than cowlicks and ruing size. Mannerisms, movement, likes and dislikes are subject to environmental influences and can be shaped and reshaped throughout ones life and are not reliable indicators.

I want to go on record that I think the doctor on the show was gay. Even if he is married, has kids, and drives one of those penis envy sports cars I would still say he is gay and he may be the only one who doesn't know it.

We learned that Tyra is big on the judgement issues and stereotyping problems that can have negative results. The obviously gay man said his concern for these types of studies revolves around the area of genetic selection. Would you choose to have a gay child? The outdoors gay man thought it was an interesting test in intuition and another gay panelist thought it was a message to not judge people's worth based on their sexual orientation. And finally another panelist wanted to know what the study was trying to achieve, what was the purpose?

I'm with the last guy. If there were some crippling genetic disease taking the lives of thousand of gays every year then there may be a push to discover the genetic reason for sexual orientation so that you may find the genetic link responsible for said disease and thereby a way to cure it. Other than that I don't think it's a reasonable way to spend time or grant money. As far as I can tell sexual orientation has zero bearing one's quality.