Geeks and the Bad Boy Mystique

For as long as I've had close friendships with geeks I've been hearing them say "I don't have a chance anyway. Women like "Bad Boys" and I'm a nice guy so I'll never have a relationship. I don't understand why you women always pick guys that treat you like crap. You're all insane."

Hm. Well, they're right on one point. I will concede, 90% of women are insane. Issue-driven, drama loving, brand name label wearing, searching for daddy material, ough-to-be-medicated insane. Sorry sisters, I would love to say we're all sugar and spice and everything nice, but we all know that's not true.

So STOP PICKING THOSE WOMEN TO DATE. There are still at least 10% of women left who are smart, witty, sophisticated, funny, socially comfortable, beautiful, kinky, and geek-loving. But saying that all women go for Bad Boys is an excuse that you all use so you don't have to try.

But, let's get back to the issue of the Bad Boy, and that Bad Boy mystique.

Women do love Bad Boys, absolutely we do. But it's a misperception to assume from that women like to be mistreated. While some "Bad Boys" are playas who treat women horribly being abused is not what attracts us to Bad Boys. It's a combination of characteristics that Bad Boys have that make us melt. So here are the traits that really make us swoon for the Bad Boys:

Masculinity - I've heard men say that they want a woman that will inspire them to be better men. Well, we want the same thing. We want a man who is inherently masculine and will bring out our most feminine selves. We want to be inspired to be passionate, sensual, loving, and uninhibited. I'm not talking about the traditional definition of masculinity in terms of big biceps and a small brain. Physical prowess is not an indication of masculinity. By masculinity I mean a man who is comfortable in his own skin and self-aware, capable of knowing and pursuing what he wants.

Independence- Geek loving women don't want a child to take care of. We want a man who can take care of himself. A man who has their own interests, opinions and thoughts and can express them will turn our heads' every time. A successful relationship consists of two people sharing their lives together. If a man has no life of his own, he has nothing to share and is therefore uninteresting to us.

Sexual Confidence - Good sex is key in a relationship. When sizing up potential partners women will look for all kinds of clues to judge a man's sexual prowess. Sexual skill doesn't just mean sexual experience. The mechanics of sex, the procedures, can be learned, every woman has her own preferences and desires and should be able to communicate them to you. But what can't be learned is the mental aspect of good sex. Geeks are far better suited than they realize to play the game of seduction, and we want to be seduced. Women love to seduce, and be seduced. I can't stress that enough. We want to play. We want to flirt. We want to tease. And we want you to do all those things right back to us. We want to be pursued, we want to be wanted, and most of all when we finally give in we want to know you're going to rock our worlds when you finally come to bed after your Night Elf hits lvl 70.

Challenge - Do you know why so many women are drama loving, controlling shrews? Because you let them be! The more you let us get away with, the less we will respect you.

Bad Boys are a challenge because they refuse to put up with drama, or clinginess, or any other bad behavior. Everyone behaves badly at some point. We're not going to let you get away with it, and you shouldn't let us either. Geeks have it much easier than normal men, because you have a lot of attributes that women want. Intelligence, humor, a great imagination and a sexual openness are great things that make geeks so attractive. Now if you just work on developing some of these other characteristics that make a geek lover swoon you will be amazed at how many women you can attract.