Gender Identification: Are We Male or Female?

Society says because we are men we are not suppose to be in touch with our feelings. Society says because she is a woman she cannot be dominate and aggressive. Society limits our activities based on our gender. But whose to say the activities we indulge in determine our gender? Take a look at the things we have done from birth until now, think of all the things we have neglected because of our gender and ask ourselfs, if my activities (practiced or not) determines my gender, what are we? Are we male or a female? Everything we know about gender identification has been delivered to the masses via movies, science theories, reading material as well as religious sources, not to mention social structures. All these avenues have told us how a man is supposed to act and the activities females partake in. But, it does not matter what we were born with between our legs, our activities does not determine if we are a male or a female. Neither does the sex; males and females are the same. How we feel on the inside is what makes us what we are.

Up until the sixth week of a pregnancy the fetus is a female, and a male. No genitals have formed to determine the sex of the child. Yes, the egg of the female carries the X chromosome and the sperm may either carry the X (to make it a female) or a Y (to make it a male) however they are not developed enough to determine the sex of the unborn child. That does not happen until a little after the sixth week. Therefore, up until that point, we are all female.

Soon after the parents of the unborn child receive the new of the "gender" of the child the gender role association begins. Parents begin to purchase gender specific merchandise and materials for their child. Colors are a big part of the gender role association; boys get the blues and girls get the pinks. The role of gender is bestowed upon the child even before birth; however it may not stay that way. The individuality is never the choice of the child, in the beginning, like many other things in life such as religion.

As early as ages two or three some children may begin to feel what scientists call gender disassociation. In news article on Telegraph.co.uk.com a 12-year-old boy by the name of Tim had a sex change steaming from telling his parents that since the age of two Tim felt like he was in the wrong body. Despite the fact Tim was born a boy Tim believed he was supposed to be a girl. Tim, now called Kim's' ordeal is proof that it is not what is on the outside that makes us male and female but how we feel on the inside. More evidence can be found in an episode of Law and Order: SVU. In this particular episode parents had fraternal twins, one male and, one female. The female however always felt as if she is or should have been a boy. A DNA test later proved that she was, in fact, born a boy, however she had the dynamics that make up female having a clitoris, breasts, hair as well as the voice. The truth was discovered later that during birth the male's genitals were badly damaged and the parents had surgery done to reconstruct his genitals to that of a female. In addition, the 12 years of the young boys life was spent with gender reconstruction by having him perform all the activities that women partake in, not limited to sexual activities. All to no avail. The activities or the genital reconstruction is what made him a girl because on the inside she felt like a boy.

The parents of the young boy, seriously failed to realize, that we cannot simply change the activities of a person to make them someone he or she are not. Activities

are not gender specific like our social structure would have us believe and live by. Our activities are simply recreational, things we do because it brings joy to us, and they are things that we feel like doing. However, many individuals, especially men, suppress their love for certain activities because we were taught that men and women do not do indulge in the same activities, this is wrong. Let's take knitting for instance, one would think knitting is a female activity, but one would be wrong.

According to The Complete Encyclopedia of Stitchery knitting began by Arabia sailors and Horest Schultz was the inventor of modular knitting. In fact, during World War II knitting was considered a manly art, one that Richard Rutt learned to perform via his grandfather in the late 1800's. Rutt later went on the write A History of Hand Knitting that was reissued in 2003. Furthermore, Roosevelt Greer, a famous football player for the 1970 LA Rams was known for knitting before games.

Now in today's society a man who knits is considered "gay" or of that of "homosexual" orientation. Men whom engage in activities such as fashion design, sewing, knitting and cooking are looked at as not as masculine than a man who fixes cars or hunts for a hobby. The standard is the same for women. In the movie Million Dollar Baby (2004) Hilary Swanks characters mother said, in regard to her boxing career, "people hear about what you are doing and they laugh. Hurts me to tell you but they laugh at you. This is not natural, settle down Maryame and get you a man and live proper." Her mother was implying that females do not box but says whom? Muhammad Ali gave birth to a stunning daughter Layla Ali who became a boxing champion in her adulthood.

How differently would her life have been if her father, who was a boxer, discouraged her interest in boxing simply because she is a woman?

The thing that sets us apart from animals is the fact that we could think and make our own choices. Our activities are not determined because of our sex unlike the lion whom, because he is a male, is the protector of the pride while the lioness hunts and cares for the young. Humans can choose to do what we want when we decide on it. What we must realize is the activities we choose should not base on what genital we are born with but based on how we feel on the inside. The sad thing is few people choose to exercise that right. Instead we sit back and let our social structures; Internet, religion, friends, and the media dictate what we do. We allow them to dictate what we wear, talk, watch and listen to. So much, for us being individuals with our own minds.

Our activities and passions in life should not and are not gender or racially based. Activities are as universal as mathematics and music so just because we are genetically born one way should not limit the things we perform. If I consider knitting a sweater I should be able to do so comfortably just if a woman wants to play football. African Americans have fought for equal rights during the Civil Rights Movement just like women fought for equal rights during the Women's Suffrage. So why is their division in 2008 with it comes to activities? If we are all "created equal" then why are we unable to engage in the same activities despite our gender without prejudice?

My mother never believed in gendarizing our activities. My mothers doing so made me believe the best things she did for me, and my six sisters, was exposing us all to everything then allowing us decided what it was that we chose to do. By doing that I developed an interest is cooking, sewing and knitting. However, on the flip side, I also developed an interest in playing football, running track and releasing my aggression through fighting. Not to mention my favorite colors are purple, red, orange and gray. Notice there is no blue in that sequence. I was told when I was a newborn my mother did not cloth me in blue and other "boy" colors. She draped me in yellow, red, purple as well as other various colors. The more I grew and matured the more I was exposed to without predujuice. The more I was exposed to my interests became more broad and diverse. I was taught not to let people dictate my likes, dislikes or actions.

My mother allowed me to find my own identification and I discovered, that by not using my gender as a crutch, I allowed myself to engage in an assortment of activities. In return, that made me more of a well-rounded individual. On June 28th, 2008 that cycle began to repeat itself. I had a daughter and before she was born her mother and I, bestowed mutual gender identification. We purchased clothing in various colors, footwear for girls and boys and various stuffed animals and toys. My daughter has dolls, stuffed lions and footballs. Her mother and I, decided to expose our daughter, Jordyn-Symon, to everything in attempt to allow her to grow up and find her own way.

The point is before birth we are all the same, and after birth we are as well if we are allowed to find our own gender identification path. By not doing, so we are limiting the potential of our children to become the people they ultimately want to be, the people our children feel in their hearts. I do not suggesting that every child has a gender identification problem, what I do suggesting is that we let our children's identity develop without outside interference. If that were done to us all, would our activities be different?