George Sodini Blogged Pittsburgh Shooting Reluctance, Determination, Despair
Diary Excerpts
George Sodini's shooting at the Pittsburgh gym resulted from a long-term plan published and updated on the internet. Did no one read George Sodini's blog? Did no one who knew him hear his pain?
Some of George Sodini's blog entries remind me of social outcasts I have met at various times in my life. Sodini's thinking appears distorted, as if starting and maintaining a relationship were a numbers game, as if a checklist of criteria set one up for happy encounters. Still, reading George Sodini's blog, it seems that we missed so many chances at preventing the Pittsburgh gym shootings.
These excerpts from Pittsburgh gym shooter George Sodini's blog express his pain in not establishing friendships and love relationships; his reluctance to carry out the Pittsburgh gym shootings; and the occasional social encounters for this lonely man that might have been nurtured to ease his loneliness.
Holidays, a lonely time for those without family and friends to share them with, prompted George Sodini's blog reflection dated December 24, 2008 "Moving into Christmas again. No girlfriend since 1984, last Christmas with Pam was in 1983. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. No sex since July 1990 either (I was 29). No shit! Over eighteen years ago. And did it maybe only 50-75 times in my life. Getting to think that a woman now would just, uh, get in the way of things. Isolated. I have extra money and enjoy traveling, too, with my 25-30 days of vacation. LA was the best! But going alone is not too fun. Invited to a party on Christmas day tomorrow. Seems about 15-25 people will actually show. I like her parties; I can meet new people and talk. Got the next 8 days off. I should have exit plan done and practiced by then. I know nothing will change, no matter how hard I try or what goals I set."
What if we could turn back the clock and encourage the people at that Christmas party to reach out to George Sodini? Might this be a lesson for us all, not to avoid the loner in the corner but to invite him to join us? How much would it hurt any of us to invite a George Sodini to come to a group outing or join us for dinner once in awhile?
No one listened when on May 4, 2009, George Sodini wrote "...I like to write and talk. Ironic because I haven't met anybody recently (past 30 years) who I want to be close friends with OR who want to be close friends with me. I was always open to suggestions to what I am doing wrong, no brother or father (mine are useless) or close friend to nudge me and give it bluntly yet tactfully wtf I am doing wrong. A personal coach or someone who knows what he is doing would be perfect..."
George Sodini was employed, took vacations, had money. He could have paid for the services of a personal coach. Would taking the time to befriend a high maintenance, needy person like George Sodini have enabled someone out there to have listened to his lonely ramblings and encouraged him to have chosen the personal coach route in lieu of the Pittsburgh gym shootings?
Other excerpts from Pittsburgh gym shooter George Sodini's blog demonstrate his desire to fit in, his desperate bid for a reason to live.
December 29, 2008: ...Flying solo for many years is a destroyer. Yet many people say I am easy to get along with, etc...
April 24, 2009: ...I predict I won't survive the next layoff. That is when there is no point to continue. Right now, life is bearable and I can get by indefinitely. Something bad must happen. The paycheck is all I have left. The future holds nothing for me. Twenty five years of nothing fun. I never even spent one weekend with a girl in my life, even at my own place. Also unlikely to find another similar job. I guess then is when I take care of things. I don't have kids, close friends or anything. Just me here. If you have nothing, you have nothing to lose...
May 4, 2009: ...The problem is I feel too good now to do this but too bad to enjoy life. I know I will never enjoy life. This is an over 30 year trend. Some people are happy, some worry, discontentment and helplessness. I can talk and joke around and sound happy but under it all is something different that seems unchangeable and a permanent part of my being. I need to realize the details of what I never accomplished in life and to be convinced the future is merely a continuation of the past - WHICH IT ALWAYS has been. I am making a list of items that will provide motivation to do the exit plan, it won't be published. I always had hope that maybe things will improve especially if I make big attempts to change my life. I made many big changes in the past two years but everything is still the same. Life is over. Even though I look good, dress well, well groomed - nails, teeth, hair, etc. Who knows....
George Sodini worked hard to talk himself into carrying out the Pittsburgh gym shootings. How hard could it have been for one of us humans to befriend him and talk him out of it?
The Pittsburgh gym shooter George Sodini himself even suggested that perhaps a study of his experience could help someone else. He wrote, the day before the shootings, "..any of the "Practice Papers" left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will not be embarrassed, because, well, I will be dead. Some people like to study that stuff. Maybe all this will shed insight on why some people just cannot make things happen in their life, which can potentially benefit others."
Sources: http://baconeatingatheistjew.blogspot.com/2009/08/mind-of-pittsburgh-fitness-killer.html; http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090805/ap_on_re_us/us_health_club_shooting;
Published by Carol Bengle Gilbert - Featured Contributor in Travel and Lifestyle
2010 Yahoo! Outstanding Contributor of the Year, Carol has consistently been designated a Top 100 Yahoo! Contributor Network writer. She received a 2008 People's Media Award for "Best Article." Web writing... View profile
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23 Comments
Post a CommentIs it just me, or is anyone else repulsed by the idea that anyone - especially a woman - would be such an apologist for Sodini and an enabler of the behaviors that led to this senseless tragedy? Despite what our culture tries to program into us, we are NOT "entitled" to "benefits" of any kind. We do not "deserve" anyone's friendship or companionship. These are things that we receive because someone freely decides to share them with us. People are, by nature, social creatures that desire to have friends and relationships. That Sodini, personally, found none is his own fault and his alone. Despite his claims that people "should" like him and that women "should" want a relationship with him, he obviously had blatant character flaws which turned other people off to him. He was right - he was not an unattractive man and, obviously, he cared a great deal about personal appearance, presentation, etc., and if attraction were nothing more than liking the way someone looks, Sodini would have had
This guy was not narcisistic. So alone was he that not one kind word has come from his family. He is not alone in how he feels. Many can relate to him and he wrote all this for a reason. His lawyers have had his org sited taken down. they are stil there copied and poasted as he wanted. he stuttered. watch the vid and his was always nervous. 2 ppl who knew him woemn said they creeped him out. he was teased for year sin school and then by his boss andy he spoke about and hir mom and brother. he could not take the rejection anyhmore. he wrote exactly as he said it was. he was a literal thinker and the books were his guide. when you have no friends as a child you learn no social skills and you get this. RIP in GS
The way Sodini's blog was published online, it was no viewable before 8/4/09. So there was no way that aynone could've read his ramblings and possibly intervened. Regardless of the parents or the society, Sodini was a sick man who harrbored more hatred than his blog revealed; for if it was a simple case of lonliness without misdirected hatred, he would have taken only his own life.
Sidoni was deeply embedded in a lifestyle website/program that objectifies women, paints them as exactly what Sodini thought they were: Dolls, Objects, Creatures who without which he could not live. He deserved the bullets he got.
Everytime you make a friend, somewhere in the world you're making an enemy. It's part of the natural balance that needs to be maintained.
If the parents are incapable of nurturing their offspring, then what about teachers? After all, they are the only other adults around children for most of the day.
I'm on both sides of the fence about this guy. I've read his rants and seen the video. He very much reminds me of my ex who had Asperger's Syndrome. With him (the ex) he also had delusions of grandeur and was prone to anger and tantrums. He could not make meaningful friendships, and the only reason our relationship lasted very long at all was because it was long distance and he lied a lot about things. The thing is, though, with my ex, he was embarrassed about things about himself. He was overly concerned with his looks (to a ridiculous degree) and he was embarrassed of my weight, even though we met at a "plus size" event. A major difference between my ex and George, though, is that the ex came from a loving family who indulged his behavior because it was easier than dealing with it properly. It seems as though George was ridiculed, ignored, and bullied his entire life. It appears as though his family did not care to help him figure things out. HOWEVER, we only know his side of thin
I'm so tired of hearing people talk about why no one befriended him and made him feel wanted. How all this could have been prevented. Do you not get it? He made himself unavailable period. This article makes it seem like he had his diary out there for everyone to read so someone could have stopped him. It was hidden until the end! He had a short-man complex too! No one could have possibly prevented this. He couldn't connect with people.
I have the exact same problems as this poor man did. It was due to my father always rejecting me and telling me I'm no good and calling me a donkey and making fun of me in front of other young kids even when I was five. I don't have any friends, a girlfriend, and I am afraid to talk to people in the face because I see my father in place of them. I can't even look at my own father in the eye. He had a lousy father and mother. The LORD saved me, a donkey, though and now that's all that matters, and I have everything. Read 1 Corinthians 1:27
Yes, it looks very much like the antidepressant-fuelled school shootings to me. See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Z-9aYvTtIw&feature=channel_page
I've just about had it with narcissistic, homicidal losers like Sodoni and the Virginia Tech mass-murderer. Nobody is entitled to a girlfriend or boyfriend, and if such guys were not so self-obsessed, they might actually have a social life.