Get Your Free Unicorn License at the Department of Natural Unicorns
The Unicorn Hunters Bring Order to Unicorn Questing
Note especially that it is prohibited to use artificial light in the taking of unicorns. Also, note that you must wear the license over your heart, pinned with a sprig of rosemary. (Strictly enforced.)
The late W.T. (Bill) Rabe, Director of Public Relations of Lake Superior State University, realized that unicorn questing had seriously declined in our times (perhaps due to the lack of the requisite unicorn bait, virgins), and so in 1971, he established the Department of Natural Unicorns as well as the Unicorn Hunters to bring some order and stability to the ancient pursuit.
Oh, and by the way, to get publicity for LSSU, which many people did not reaize was an independent school. According to the website (source): "With an enrollment of about 3,000 students, LSSU offers an undergraduate experience that features small classes, individual attention and faculty/student research opportunities that are not always readily available at larger schools. LSSU students choose from a blend of liberal and technical studies in more than 40 areas."
Words Banished from the Queen's English
Rabe's Unicorn Hunters also maintain the annual "List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness." You can find the complete list here. I am delighted to report that "Absolutely!" has been banished since 1993, although "at the end of the day" does not yet suffer the well-deserved banishment. For 2010, "Word 'czars' at Lake Superior State University 'unfriended' 15 words and phrases." See if you agree with their choices (here).
So, get your flask of brandy and one-ounce bottle of Unicorn Lure ready (both recommended by the DNU for the serious pursuit of the unicorn), and take my wishes for a happy, safe hunt. That is, a hunt that will be happy and safe for the unicorns!
You can find an index to all my stories of hunting unicorns, "The Joys of Chasing Unicorns," here.
Source: Lake Superior State University Unicorn Hunters page
Published by Michael Segers
I'm old enough to know better, but too young to admit it. I've been a teacher, owner of a sandwich shop, collector of neckties, acupuncture student. Now I get bossed around by my parrot and rejoice that I d... View profile
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30 Comments
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i killed two unicorns today. did you know their blood tastes superb? their blood is all SPARKLY!!!!!! (as london tipton from the suite life on deck crew would say :)
I love "absolutely!" It's like a warning that somebody's getting ready to lie to you.
Very interesting read, I had no clue on this!
Loved this
LOL - That's great.
lol, glad hunting is limited:0
No license needed, I just need to speak to one of these creatures as they are said to be an animal of good omen that came to humans only on important missions.
I love the sprig of Rosemary!