GET REAL!

Denial means "I don't even know I'm lying." Minimizing may be a defense mechanism, but it's more likely to be a sticking point. Telling yourself that you're big boned and not really fat, will keep you fat. Saying that maybe you drink a little too much but, your not really an alcoholic will eventually lead to life, legal and health problems. Marijuana isn't really a drug, is it? I can't really be broke if I still have checks. Is your mantra "I'm not really hurting anyone"? It's not really cheating on your spouse if it's a cyber-affair. Get real! The only person you are really fooling is yourself. You maybe able to hide from some of your fellow man, but you cannot hide from the Higher Order of the universe or God.

What's real? Well, let's be a bit politically incorrect and suggest that avoiding problems is the root of most life problems. Magical thinking and living in a fantasy about what we plan to do doesn't change anything; it often makes people even more frustrated. Admitting the problem doesn't achieve anything. Anxiety must propel us into action. Problems give us a chance to grow mentally and spiritually. A life that is not dedicated to living in Truth is living a lie... Avoiding problems causes pain and anxiety. Neurosis is a poor substitute for legitimate suffering. (Carl Jung)

What's the real problem? It is generally something I am not able to accept about myself that takes up all my energy trying to prove it's not true. (Shadow beliefs.) For instance, the person who doesn't have a drinking problem doesn't have to spend great amounts of energy explaining why they don't have a drinking problem. "Thou does protest too much." (William Shakespeare.)

The people who experience that most pain in life are those who have not learned to schedule pain. They don't know how to delay gratification. They wander through the first part of the day doing what they like to do, and then spend the remainder on crisis intervention. These are the individuals who will wait until 10pm on April 15^th to do their taxes, and risk being in accident trying to get them post marked by mid-night. In avoiding pain they cause much unnecessary pain to themselves and those around them. All their life energy goes into avoiding pain. They are the children that never learned to do their home before they went out to play. No one was there to teach them discipline. Parents that are undisciplined have children who are undisciplined. The child that never hears "NO" never learns to say no! It's like a warped record that plays the same thing over and over. They have never accepted that life is painful. Once one accepts that life is painful, one can learn to schedule the pain. ("The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck is a gift for anyone. ) If one wants to run the a marathon you'd better schedule at least and hour or two of pain daily for the next five months! (A piece of cake today is not as rewarding a fitting into that special dress for a special event. Don't forget to schedule you celebrations, too. That's right, NOTHING tastes as good as skinny feels. Trust me on this one!)

The real solution: Discipline involves delayed gratification. That is delaying what you enjoy in this moment to experience greater joy at a latter time. Delaying that Friday night date to complete a degree is not a rewarding as walking across the stage to receive your diploma. Delaying sex until you are emotionally and financially mature enough to handle the responsibilities is much more rewarding than unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. But, don't delay living life. When it's all over and you are at the end of the path is it going to matter how many pairs of shoes you have or how many football games you watched?

The real trick to living successfully is balance. Learning that time is a valuable commodity and being wise where you spend it. Invest (tithe) some time everyday in greater reward for your future. What you tithe will return tenfold. You will discover very quickly where your REAL values lie.