Get Some Sleep, Tonight!

That light you see at the end of the tunnel, ladies, that's called a night-light. It's the best investment you will make when you go on that first Babies-R-Us run for essentials.

I've never been able to function without a minimum of eight hours sleep, preferably ten. I brought my first son home from the hospital, many years ago now, and like many moms before me, swore up and down he was the best child ever to be born into the world. No one warned me. Apparently, newborn babies don't "wake-up" until a good two weeks after birth. That's when all the fun starts. I remember that awakening like it happened yesterday. He went to bed at his normal seven o'clock bedtime, only he woke up again at ten. "Okay, no problem" I thought to myself, "he must not have eaten enough. I will just pop in there and settle him back to sleep." I went, he had his milk, and then slept, and shortly thereafter, so did I. You can imagine my dismay when that shriek came through the monitor, muffled with static, sending shocks through my body like a bolt of lightning striking to my very core, not even a full two hours later. If you're reading this, you know it well. "He must be ill", I thought. "This isn't my child". Oh, but how wrong I was. He was indeed my child, and I learned this was he making his first official appearance, as it happens.

Ever since that last week in May, seven years ago, I have been on a mission to reclaim my sleep. The quest for a good nights' sleep is not a lonely one; I share my experiences with friends, neighbors, and even strangers in the park or grocery store. There's an unofficial support group; we all have similar appearances, and, much like gay people, can spot each other immediately. We're the people wearing disheveled garbs, sometimes the same clothes item more than one day in a row, or more than twice in a week. We have bags under our eyes, unkempt hair, or worse, falling out. We don't bother with make-up, and are lucky if we bother to remove stains from our shirts. We look like the living dead. We might very well be.

Sleep deprivation is no laughing matter. People die from heart complications due to lack of sleep. I read an article not long ago on this very subject. There have been reports, such as a man who played a video game for forty hours straight, and then died of heart failure from exhaustion.[1] Sleep is a necessary part of life, for your health, and mental health. So how do you get it, and get enough of it, once you've had children?

Start from day one preparing your child to sleep properly. It's not impossible to backtrack once errors have been made, but just much more difficult than starting fresh.

Back to the nightlight, you don't need it when he is an infant. Not for him, anyway. He doesn't care or notice the dark. You need it for you. When you're half dead from fatigue, and fumbling around their room in the middle of the night for the umpteenth time. So you don't kill yourself, despite the possible desire to let death take you quickly. Practically speaking, it saves you. It also gets the infant used to a slight nightly glow. As toddler stage comes to fruition, you will appreciate this light. As your child develops, speaks, can climb, walk, have opinions, and, more aptly, fears, this light now comes to be their friend. A nightlight provides him the confidence to be alone.

When your child is an infant, make sure to put him to bed, in his crib, awake. Let him settle himself to sleep, without rocking or cuddling. As he grows continue this practice steadily.

Never take a child into your bed. If he needs comforting, go to him. Lay with him, in his bed, or on the floor in his room, rather than getting him used to coming to yours. Although he can't reason at this stage, he does learn quickly. Eventually it will occur to your child that if he is sick, or has a nightmare, he can come to bed with you. Suddenly he will be sick every night. By the time you realize your error, it's too late in the game, and now to change is a fight.

Once your child reaches the age of reason, it is time to start explaining the rules. A digital clock in his room is another fantastic investment. Teach him how to tell time. It is both educational and sanity saving.

Bedtime is not the time your child physically goes to sleep. In your mind that should be the time you work back from. The time you tell him is bedtime, is the time you start your routine, a good half-hour to forty-five minutes before you want your child to be asleep.

The bathroom before bed is a must. Have a routine. Go to the bathroom, do whatever business can be forced out, brush his teeth, wash his hands and face, and head to bed. Read a story and spend fifteen minutes with each other.

Another important item in every child's room is something to cuddle. Giving him something to hug in the night will keep him from missing you. Your child will feel safer and protected. Humanize the stuffed item. Give it a name and help your child to feel Fluffy is there to watch over him, but don't over do it, or one day it will be hard to part with.

Make sure he has everything he might require for a twelve hour stint; water by the bed, a favorite blanket, a comfortable temperature. Finally, turn out the lights and say goodnight. Explain he must remain quiet should he absolutely have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and not to wake you or others. Close the door behind you and explain it's not to be opened before a certain time; whatever fits your schedule properly, but keep in mind it must also be realistic. In other words, if your child regularly wakes at 6:30 every morning, asking him to stay in bed until 8:00 is being overly ambitious. Try 7:00 in this instance. Set a schedule in your mind that takes into account both your child's needs and your own. If your child is averaging ten hours of sleep every night, do not try and make a schedule based on twelve hours. Conversely, if your child requires twelve hours to function, set the bedtime schedule early enough so that you have enough time in the morning to not be overly rushed. An overtired child has a harder time falling asleep. It might be best in this instance to adjust to an earlier bedtime.

Whatever you do, it's important to remain strong and consistent. Some children will cry, and while you may think it's simpler to indulge, you will learn it is not. You will feel the strongest urge to comfort, naturally, but you are not helping anyone.

If your child doesn't learn proper sleeping habits it will affect his performance in school, as well as in social situations. If you don't get proper sleep you will be tired and irritable, and of no use to anyone. Tough love is sometimes the best love you can give your family. What have you got to lose, except another sleepless night.

[1] http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4137782.stm