Getting Accepted by Your Boyfriend's Parents

The Fresh Prince, Will Smith, said it best: "Parents just don't understand."

How exactly do you become accepted by your boyfriends parents? It's probably not an easy task. Think of the family as a tribe, not everyone gets into the inner circle.

Here are a few bits of advice:

1. First Impressions Are Everything

When you first meet your boyfriend's parents, immediately introduce yourself. Look them in the eye, don't be afraid to shake hands or touch shoulders. Think of it like a salesperson; you're selling your personality to those parents, make a good impression.

If for some reason you make a poor first impression, you'll have to dig yourself out of a huge hole. That second impression may take weeks or months, so prepare for the first impression.

2. Don't Talk About Politics or Beliefs

Some people are touchy about these subjects. If for some reason you hit a nerve, that puts you in a social bind. You'll be know as the girl who's dating their son, whatsherface, the political one.

If your religious beliefs differ from your parent's family, it's best to just not bring that up.

3. If You're Ignored, It's Not Your Fault

Too many times in life, we blame ourselves for the way other people feel. If you're with your boyfriend's parents and they FLAT OUT ignore you, it may have nothing to do with you. Maybe they've had a difficult day. Maybe they've been driving for hours.

Make the most of the situation and don't blame yourself if they ignore you.

4. Are You The Right Fit For Their Son?

Parents, especially moms, may judge a girlfriend based all sorts of factors. The mom wants to know if you're going to be a good girl, and *gulp* possible Daughter-In-Law. Moms are notoriously detailed oriented. Think about the way your mom acts when she meets your boyfriends.

In order to avoid some of the scrutiny, I suggest talking about your own parents. That takes the pressure off you. Like this:

MOM - "So, what do you do for a living?"
GIRLFRIEND - "You know, my mom asks that same question to all my boyfriends!"

Notice that you can now go off on a tangent. This story of your family makes you a bit more interesting, especially if you don't have a fantastic job.

5. If You Have A Wild Background, Save That Story For Another Time

Parents may misinterpret what you're saying in outrageous ways. People are curious, so if you have some WILD story, save it for another time. If your boyfriend's parents try to drag it out of you "Please, tell us your story!", just state it in as few words as possible, that will diminish its effect.

6. Getting To Know Someone Takes Time

Getting accepted may take a while. Don't give up if it doesn't go well. Sometimes, you have to just become accustomed to spending time with other people. If that's the case with your boyfriend's parents, make some time to spend with them. Be a regular.

Hopefully, these tips will help you become accepted by your boyfriend's parents. And, as they say, just be yourself, sincerity goes a long way.