Getting Back to My Easygoing Ways

I had a realization today that I'm finally letting go of some of my stresses and worries and getting back to truly being the me that I knew for so many years. That is a person who rarely went without a smile (yet didn't wander around aimlessly or naively), thinking no matter what that everything was fine. I knew I had to worry about things, and I knew I had to be responsible. But I always was. The difference was, back then, I just got things done, did them well, and rarely worried about what people thought about it.

It was when I grew up, got out of college and moved on to grad school and the real world, when I finally started feeling the pressures and burdens of being an adult. I started caring about what people thought about how I looked or what I said. How my actions would be perceived, whether that was their intent or not. This was a very stressful feeling and way of life for me as someone not used to it at all.

I started feeling the pressures from family and friends back home; how they always feel like we should be closer, when really, we shouldn't have to give up the opportunities, city, and lives we love just because everyone else chose to stay back in one general vicinity.

I started feeling the pressures of growing up and moving into what would be considered "socially acceptable" "professional" and "responsible." That's another silly thing to worry about. It you're getting everything done that you need to do (i.e., being responsible), who's to comment, or rather, whose comments, judgments, or opinions should be of any consequence?

But somehow, in the last few days, I've let go of a lot of that worry and concern. I'm still responsible, I'm still trying to pay off credit cards and save money for the variety of upcoming things (house, vacations, children), I still go to work and do a great job, I'm writing creatively, for myself, and to offer any insight I have to others, I have a great relationship with my husband, and our dog makes us smile more and more every day. Life is pretty good for us, so I don't really care if we're too far away, not making enough money, or going out too often (by other people's standards).