Getting Your Girlfriend Back

Most of us have gone through a breakup of some kind. The heartache and feelings of betrayal that follows a breakup can consume us and the desperation we feel can make us say and do things we wouldn't normally do. From the time she mentions breaking up there are steps you need to follow in order to ensure you will be getting your girlfriend back in no time.

Our first reaction to the word breakup is usually the wrong one. We ask why and what can I do and end up practically begging for her to reconsider. This kind of behavior will only make her run away faster. The first thing we should do is stay calm, as hard as it may be at the moment, and keep a straight face. We don't want to show any emotion right now.

Agree with the breakup. Yes, I said agree with it. It goes against every part of our being but we must do it if we have any chance of a successful reconciliation. Just say, "You know what? You're right, we should breakup and get a little space for ourselves." You may even go so far as to say something like, "You know, actually I have been thinking the same thing for a while and just didn't know how to approach the subject." This will throw her off because she will be expecting you to break down, she may even reconsider right then. It will also keep you from making a fool of yourself which will go a long way toward getting your girlfriend back later. Let her go for the moment and get your game plan together.

Don't try to contact her for a couple weeks or so. Don't visit, call, text, IM, email, or write. Your ex girlfriend will be expecting you to be blubbering at her doorstep or on the phone, don't let it happen. After a couple weeks of no contact she will be wondering what is going on and this will make her much more receptive to contact later. Just get on with your life at this point and be cool. Make things as fabulous for yourself as you can. Work really hard at this point on whatever you call success, be it a new job, a raise or promotion, starting a business, or whatever, you will see why. If she contacts you in the first couple weeks of the breakup, be nice and just say, "It's nice to hear from you but I'm really pressed for time right now, can we talk a little later?" Leave it at that and let her wonder.

After two or three weeks, call her or text her and say, "Just wanted to see how you are doing, I hope all is well. Call me." When she calls, keep the conversation off of your relationship. Talk about the weather, your work, the news, anything but the breakup. When she asks how you are doing, let her know you are doing great and life is wonderful. Things are really starting to go well for you. People tend to want what they can't have, and when your ex girlfriend starts to get the feeling she may not be able to get you back, she will start thinking about you more.

If she doesn't call you back after a couple tries, the next time leave her a message saying, "Hey, I really appreciate what you did for me the other day, call me I want to thank you in person. She won't be able to resist calling to find out what is up. When she does, make sure you are prepared to answer the question, "What was it that I did for you?" It can be anything but make it good so she doesn't think it's a scam. She will be more receptive to talk to you with this approach than the normal mistakes people make of calling with a fake emergency or crying and saying you can't live without her.

For the next couple weeks call once a week and just shoot the breeze. Don't get into any deep conversations, just be friendly and don't linger. Talk to her for a few minutes, then say you have to go and get off the phone.

If things are going well at this point, the next time you call her mention that you miss hanging out with her and suggest you meet for coffee. Be very clear that this is just a friendly meeting and that you don't have too long to chat. You just want to say hi in person. Dress up and look your best when you go to meet her. If she asks why you are so dressed up, just say, "Oh no reason, just taking care of some business." Don't be specific, just tell her it's "work stuff". Get her thinking this is how you look all the time now. She will be thinking, "Wow he is going somewhere" and she will start wanting to be a part of it. Don't talk about the breakup or the relationship at this point. When she brings it up, change the subject. Look at your watch and say, "Oh I gotta go, I have an appointment in a few minutes." Tell her it was nice seeing her, you will talk later and leave.

The next time you meet up, talk a little bit about the successes you are seeing. Let her know how well things are going for you. Let her know that you have a new outlook on life and you are really enjoying things. Don't talk for too long and don't talk about the breakup, just have a nice short conversation and tell her you have to be somewhere in a little bit and leave. By this point she will be itching to be a part of your life again. You will be more attractive to her than ever.

After you meet and chat a few times, she will probably be ready to talk things over a bit. You can start opening up a little but don't fall to her feet and profess your undying love just yet. Keep your dignity and be a little reserved. If things are going well suggest going out on a date. Let her know you just want to hang out with her and have a pleasant time, no pressure. Plan something fun but different than she is used to. Make her wonder where this came from. Make sure she has fun with you so she will want to go out again. When the date is over, tell her you had a great time and you will call her soon and leave.

Go out once a week for a few weeks and then when you are both ready and you have done a bit of "re-bonding" talk about maybe getting back together. Let her know that you have been doing well on your own but it has been nice being around her again. If she is ever going to consider reconciliation with you she will be ready by now. She may or may not be ready to jump back into the relationship full force but she should at least be ready to date you again as your girlfriend. Take things slow and pace yourself. Don't let her speed things up too fast either, let her know that you want things to go right this time and you are willing to take it easy for a while.

These tactics are very powerful. Some may say this is just playing head games but I have news for them. Women have been playing these types of "games" with us since we started dating. The only way to get things to go your way is to take control of the situation and keep control of it until it turns out like you want. The moment you lose control of your situation is the moment you place your chances of getting your girlfriend back in another person's hands.

Here are links to a couple videos a friend of mine posted on Gr8InfoNet.com that will answer your questions and give you some more unconventional techniques for getting your ex girlfriend back. Even if you have completely blown your chances of reconciliation by acting like a fool during or after the breakup, the situation can be saved and the videos will show you how. Pay close attention to what is said about "premature reconciliation".