Getting Your Husband to Do the Chores

In the perfect relationship, all household chores would be split equally. However, even in the most loving relationships, this is often not the case. Work schedules and caring for the kids can further complicate things. Here are a few tips for getting your spouse to give you a hand around the house.

- Simmer Down. Don't talk to your spouse about helping out around the house when you are angry. If you're fed up of him leaving his dirty socks around the house or leaving his unrinsed dishes in the sink, etc. wait until you have calmed down to discuss it with him. He will only become defensive and resist just to piss you off.

-Divy 'Em Up. When you are calm, sit down with him and discuss how chores should be divided. Maybe there are certain chores that he would prefer. It is easier to get him to help if he is doing a chore that he doesn't mind too much. You might be surprised...some of the chores he would prefer might actually be chores that you would love to hand over!

-Make A Schedule. Of course there will be some chores that neither of you want to do. Take turns doing these. Make a schedule if you need to. Post it somewhere where you will both see it often, such as the refrigerator door.

-Use The Sandwich Method. Give him praise for something good he did do. Then, politely ask him if he could please take out the trash. Then give him praise again for something else. For example, tell him how much you appreciate him cooking dinner. Then ask him if he would please take out the trash today if he has the time. Don't ask him to do it right away. Let him do it on his own time. Then tell him how good he looks in that shirt. By sandwiching your request in between to compliments, he won't feel like he is being attacked. Your praise will make him feel good and he will want to continue to please you.

-Praise, Praise, Praise. Whenever he does something around the house, praise him. Even if you feel that it is something he should be doing without you having to ask, still let him know that you appreciate him. Hopefully he will start to realize how hard you work around the house and show his appreciation towards you as well.

-Be Patient. Don't expect him to change overnight. Give him some time before you ask him again or he will feel pressured.

-It Takes Two. Make chores more enjoyable by doing them together. He can wash and you can dry or you can sweep and he can mop, etc. Set aside a few hours on a Saturday to clean the house. With both of you working together with one goal in mind, you will get a lot more done. And neither of you can say that the other one didn't do their part because you have observed each other working hard all day.

If none of these tips work, don't give up. You shouldn't have to do everything yourself. Hopefully your husband will see that you are much more fun to be around when you aren't so stressed and tired.