Getting Kids to Behave in a Restaurant

My three-year-old daughter usually behaves fairly well in restaurants and other public settings. While I have seen my fair share of three year olds who can't contain themselves long enough to enjoy meal out with family, mine has more or less mastered the art of sitting quietly and behaving appropriately.

I can't guarantee that the techniques I've used with my daughter work for everyone. However, if can't yet bring your child out to restaurants without facing humiliation and struggle, these tips might help.

1. Keep her age and development in mind. It's unreasonable to expect a one-year-old to behave perfectly during a meal, and even more unreasonable to expect a three-year-old to be quiet for two hours while grown-ups enjoy a conversation. If your child has developmental delays, these also need to be considered. Keep your expectations of your child reasonable for his developmental range.

2. Choose the right restaurants. Seek kid-friendly restaurants when you first start introducing your child to eating out. Some good chain options include Chili's, Applebee's, and Olive Garden. Fast food chains, while not the healthiest options, are almost always very friendly toward children. Also look into restaurants in your area to find out which are the most kid-friendly. As a general rule, shy away from formal, grown-up oriented restaurants. Neither your child nor the other patrons should have to tolerate a public tantrum in a formal establishment.

3. Bring toys and books. My daughter and I never leave the house without a book, a toy, paper, and a handful of crayons in tow. These all help to keep her entertained while grown-ups are talking or while she awaits the arrival of a meal. Some restaurants offer colorable kids' menus and crayons, but don't count on their availability-- or your child's interest. Adequate preparation can prevent an unanticipated meltdown.

4. Address problems promptly. If your child begins acting disruptive in a restaurant, address the problem as soon as possible. If she complains that she is hungry or thirsty, ask for a pack of crackers or a glass of water. If she expresses an urgent need to use the potty, don't wait-- go now. If your toddler bursts into an uncontrollable fit, don't "give in" to make her quiet down-- but do take her outside while she cools off. Other customers shouldn't have to hear your child's outbursts.

5. Remember she's just a kid. If your two-year-old can't yet sit quietly while you have a grown-up meal and a grown-up conversation, accept this-- and don't schedule grown-up outings with her in tow. You and your child will both end up far more stressed in the long run if you place unrealistic expectations on her behavior, especially early in life. Remember that even "good" kids need attention and devotion.