Getting Kids to Clean Their Rooms

I think we've all been there at one point in time. The toys are spread out on the floor and it's time to pick up. You ask once to clean up their toys only to hear protests and excuses. This time "Because I said so" may not do the trick. I know this would never work on my oldest!

The following are ideas on how to handle the situation and actually get them to clean their room or pick up their toys. These ideas don't always work and will never work for ALL kids, but they HAVE worked for us in the past. Try different tricks at different times if you have stubborn kids that really refuse.

1. Don't Give In
This is an important one! They learn nothing if you pick up their toys for them after you have asked them to do it. All they learn is how to get out of jobs you ask them to do. They'll learn if they complain or refuse enough, you'll eventually do it. Don't let it get to this! Do not leave the room until the job is done. If you pick up for them, they will NEVER take you seriously. Children even 2 years old can pick up after themselves (I've witnessed this!), so don't back down on your requests.

2. Don't Take No For An Answer
Back talking should never been accepted. If things begin to get out of control (fits, crying, screaming, firm "no's"), a punishment is in order. Be firm, be the parent. They might not be too happy with you at the moment, but they'll thank you later on. Now of course we want to avoid these situations at all cost and never want to actually punish, but if it does come down to this know you'll have to follow through.

3. Make a Game
If it's a daily struggle, try making a game out of picking up. Give them a time limit, see how many of certain toys they can put away, etc. The more fun for them the better and easier it will be on all of you. When our toy room was a "shared" room, we would assign tasks to each kid and then see who could get done the fastest. For example, one would be in charge of putting away toys and one would be in charge of stuffed animals. Always make sure you have "even" jobs so it's a shared task. Specifying who picks up what is always easier than just telling multiple kids "pick up".

4. Take Away Toys
If nothing else is working, don't be afraid to remove toys. If they can't take care of it by putting it away, they loose it. We have a special storage room just for "off limit" toys. This is one of the last resorts when nothing else is working. An example would be if they were told to put away dolls but haven't yet, then they get them taken away until they learn to take care of them. Once they've shown they can take care of their toys for a set amount of time or have been good, they can get them back. This also works well if you need to reward them for good behavior (often times I've said "you've been really good, let's get some of your toys out of the storage room").

5. Rewards
If your children pick up without complaints and do a good job, reward them. Bring back toys taken away (as mentioned above), make a special snack, play a special game. Stickers also make for nice rewards if given in moderation to those who enjoy them. This may not work as well for older kids, but is nice for younger ones. You can also reward them with small amounts of money. Since we do not have set allowances, money is earned by doing chores. If they pick up their rooms, they earn a quarter. It may not seem like a lot, but we keep special chore jars they can see how much they've earned.

While it may not be easy for any of you sometime, remember you are the parent! Don't give up, raising children takes time.