Getting Your Kids to Sleep When Toddler and Baby Share a Room

I have two young children who share a room. When my youngest was born, her brother was only 21 months old and I was very nervous about how room-sharing would go. It is important to me that my kids sleep well at night and also get adequate naps during the day. Good sleep is important for them, and also for me as nap time is when I get most of my work done.

When my daughter neared 6 months old and it was about time to move her into her brother's bedroom, I was very apprehensive. How would my son adapt to sharing a room? Would my baby's frequent night-waking wake him as well? Would they wake each other up earlier than necessary in the morning? How could I possibly coordinate their naps when she cried herself to sleep? Where would he play while she was napping in the morning? Here are a few things I learned as I tackled the issue of toddler/baby room-sharing.

1. Children are adaptable. The first child in a family is often a light sleeper. Moms and dads are generally very quiet during their first child's naps. They encourage anyone entering the house to be quiet as a mouse and whisper when passing baby's room during nap time. This behavior teaches the child that he needs quiet in order to sleep. Usually, this trend is not the case with subsequent children because they learn to sleep through the noise of the first-born. Just because your first child has learned to be a light sleeper, does not mean that he cannot be trained to be otherwise.

2. Expect a bumpy start. For the first several days, your children may negatively respond to each other at night. Most likely, your oldest child will go to bed fine, but the crying of the baby will awaken or upset him later on. The process of teaching your oldest to sleep heavier takes some getting used to for him. Reassure him, or if possible, let the baby fall asleep first and then take your oldest to bed.

3. Naps take special consideration. When you put your kids to bed at the same time at night they will eventually fall asleep, but this is not necessarily so with naps. The older child may be at an age where if he doesn't get to sleep in a window of time he will not sleep at all. Thus, if your baby is distracting him and keeping him from falling asleep, both he and you will lose the all-important nap time. I coordinate my children's naps by getting one child to sleep before the other. Usually, I put my oldest to sleep first (he has learned to sleep through a little fussing when his sister goes down) and then put the baby to bed. This has taken some working and re-working, but I can usually guarantee at least an hour a day when both of the kids are sleeping soundly.

4. Be prepared for early risers. If your baby wakes for an early morning feeding (around 5:00AM) your older child may wake up at this time as well, even if he sleeps through other night feedings. Rather than letting your older child hop out of bed, ask him to try to go back to sleep or give him a book to look at while you feed the baby. Hopefully, he will fall back to sleep before you put the baby to bed. Our family had trouble in this area, so we would put the baby in a Pack 'n Play for her last couple hours of sleep so as not to disturb her brother. When your kids get a little older, the system works well as the children often "talk" to each other for awhile in the morning before looking for mom or dad.

Having your toddler and baby share a room presents special challenges to parents. The most important thing is that you stay calm and consistent in the way you put your children to bed. Don't lose heart- your toddler will learn to sleep through a little crying with time. Room-sharing also offers the important opportunity for sibling bonding and may even buy you a little more time to sleep in the morning.