Getting Married Young: Be Prepared for Your Lives to Change
While it may seem, and on some levels be, enchantingly romantic to marry your high school sweetheart, there are sacrifices that people make when they decide to get married young. My husband and I started dating when I was a freshman in high school - I was fourteen years old! Just under a decade later, I am a twenty-three year old wife, and my husband a twenty-four year old husband. We've been married just under a year, so I suppose our official classification is no longer "newlyweds." Nope. Now we're just married folks. Don't get me wrong; I honestly mean it when I say that my husband and I are more deeply in love than ever, and our bond really has only been strengthened since we tied the know. However, there are several external factors about being a young married person that make it trying at times.
Face reality: the divorce rate in this country is sky-high, and about half of all marriages do not last "until death do us part." Make sure that you aren't jumping into a commitment that you aren't ready to make. Young couples are at an increased risk for marital problems and divorce. If you are getting married in your twenties, be prepared to live on a tight budget (unless you are quite lucky). Financial problems are the number one cause of disputes between spouses, and since young people are just learning how to navigate in the financial world, it's not surprising that young married couples often quarrel over money matters. Couples that marry in their thirties and forties generally have a more secure grip on their finances and they have become accustomed to budgeting and saving.
One of the main things to expect if you get married young is that your friendships are going to be strained. Like it or not, if you are the only married couple in your group of friends, you just aren't going to share the same connection with your buds anymore. Even if your friends are in committed relationships, there's still a strange difference between married and non-married friends. For me, the changes that I have seen in my friendships have been blatant. Pretty much all of my female friends are not only unmarried, but completely single - and loving it. I feel like an outsider. They're on spring break, and I'm at a family barbecue with the in-laws. We just have such different lives. It's hard to find common ground. It's not that you have to end your friendships, but if you're getting married young, you should be prepared for the relationship dynamics to change.
You can also expect that you are going to change yourself. You will feel like you have taken on adulthood even though you are still unsure of your future. Even though you and your husband have committed to sharing a future together, whatever that future may bring, it's still pretty scary when you actually do it. You have to understand that just because you two have gotten married, you are still in some very formative years in your lives. Be prepared to grow and change together, and be ready and open to talking about the changes as you experience them.
Face reality: the divorce rate in this country is sky-high, and about half of all marriages do not last "until death do us part." Make sure that you aren't jumping into a commitment that you aren't ready to make. Young couples are at an increased risk for marital problems and divorce. If you are getting married in your twenties, be prepared to live on a tight budget (unless you are quite lucky). Financial problems are the number one cause of disputes between spouses, and since young people are just learning how to navigate in the financial world, it's not surprising that young married couples often quarrel over money matters. Couples that marry in their thirties and forties generally have a more secure grip on their finances and they have become accustomed to budgeting and saving.
One of the main things to expect if you get married young is that your friendships are going to be strained. Like it or not, if you are the only married couple in your group of friends, you just aren't going to share the same connection with your buds anymore. Even if your friends are in committed relationships, there's still a strange difference between married and non-married friends. For me, the changes that I have seen in my friendships have been blatant. Pretty much all of my female friends are not only unmarried, but completely single - and loving it. I feel like an outsider. They're on spring break, and I'm at a family barbecue with the in-laws. We just have such different lives. It's hard to find common ground. It's not that you have to end your friendships, but if you're getting married young, you should be prepared for the relationship dynamics to change.
You can also expect that you are going to change yourself. You will feel like you have taken on adulthood even though you are still unsure of your future. Even though you and your husband have committed to sharing a future together, whatever that future may bring, it's still pretty scary when you actually do it. You have to understand that just because you two have gotten married, you are still in some very formative years in your lives. Be prepared to grow and change together, and be ready and open to talking about the changes as you experience them.
Published by M. Hughes
Marie enjoys writing on a broad range of topics. View profile
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- The divorce rate in this country is sky-high, and about half of all marriages do not last.
- Financial problems are the number one cause of disputes between spouses.
- Be prepared to grow and change together, and be ready and open to talking about the changes.
There are sacrifices that people make when they decide to get married young.
58 Comments
Post a CommentI am agree with the marriage at a young age, because when we has having a child and the kids still need a lot of costs, we can still work and can fill those needs.
god is always give the ways if we are sure with self ability.
its better u think twice before getting married.i think 19 is to young for you to get married.our life is not just getting married.there so much thing to do..and are u ready to take the responsibility?i'm 19 just like u, and also want to get married now.i love my boyfriend and don't want to be far from him..but we should not be selfish..because when u getting married u are entering a new life.where u are not depends on your family anymore.it will be hard if u have no stable income because your expenses will increasing after get married.the worse, if u get a baby u have to sacrifice most of your time.and u should think that are u ready enough to have a child on this age?when your friend is enjoying their life u are stress with the baby and all the chores in your home.married is not for fun dear, married is forever.u are 19, look how many years u will be with your husband.its not 2 or 3 years..so i think for now u should continue your study then get married after u get a great qu
If God is in your heart and for the idea of you getting married ...............then do it!
please every body give me advice i really need it on getting married at 19
message or add me on face book
leticia_dominguez@yahoo.com
thanks so much for the info. me and my boyfriend been together since high school our senior year we waited 7 months until we dated, now were madly in love. im now 19 years old and we want to get married, we both have jobs and attend college i admit i am a bit scared about the financial problems, parents kind of dislike the fact their daughter is getting married so young. did your parents like it when you got married? how did you convice them he is the one for you? and what did you feel when you were about to get married young?
...we realise Jesus was a jew.. all you have to do is look in the bible... Jesus is the cause for Christianity.
..marriage is so lets hurry up and jump into bed together"
Ashley: umm....no, statistics do not prove that marriages fail if God is not the centre. Sorry. I've never seen that study. A census does not ask that: "is God at the centre of your marriage? No? How's that working?" My grandparents have been married almost 50 years, and although they believe in God, God is not at the centre. My best friend's parents have been married over 25 years. They are atheists with no divorce in sight.
Marriage is not just for the Christian. That's such an ignorant and close minded statement, and the reason so many people hate Christians. Marriage existed long before Christianity did. You realise Jesus was Jewish right? A really devout one?
You sound very detached from reality and people. Tons of young Christian couples think they know what marriage really means, because they convince themselves they do so they can hurry up and have sex without feeling guilty. They're not willing to wait until they can actually be stable. "yes yes i get it, we know what marriag
I am 20 years old, married to my husband who is 21 years old. I got married May 2009, so we are now working on our second year of marriage. I absolutely love being married! Yes, we are flat broke most of the time, but when your really in love with your spouse and you put God in the center of your marriage, it works.
If God isnt in the center of any relationship, it will fail. Statistics prove it! Marriage is for the Christian, so obviously people who dont love Christ dont fully understand what marriage really is and has been for years!
Hope everyone has successful marriages filled with love and understanding!
(and this is not to say that we dont have our own rough days, we do, but at the end of the day, im so happy.)
My husband and I got married when we were 19 years old. I am 22 and he is 21 right now. We are high school sweethearts and began dating when we were 16. We got married as a spur of the moment, just wanted to live together sort of thing. We have been struggling financially since that day and trying to juggle school and work and a marriage and balancing checking accounts is a lot for a 22 year old. I have changed a lot as a woman since 19 years old and if I could do it over again I would have finished school and probably would have let my high school relationship go... But I am married and have been for two years so I am just trying to see if it gets better... If you are young just be together, get married when you can own a home and have settled into your career...