Getting Over the Blame Hurdle

It only took me about 40 years to identify and begin to change one of my biggest faults. That fault was placing blame on others for my actions, feelings and fears. I have to say I am in good company though. Humans have been placing the blame on others ever since Adam and Eve.

Then He asked, 'Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat from the tree that I had commanded you not to eat from?' Then the man replied, 'The woman You gave to be with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.' So, the Lord god asked the woman, 'What is this you have done?' and the woman said, 'It was the serpent. He deceived me, and I ate.' Genesis 3:11-13

Even in the beginning, when faced with the choice of taking personal responsibility, Adam says it was Eve's fault and Eve says no, it was the serpents fault. Makes you wonder what would have transpired had even one of them said; yes, I made the decision to eat the apple of my own free will. (This also seems to be a lesson in how we allow others to influence our decisions.)

My favorite aunt used to say, "An excuse is just a lie with a coat on." While the term lie may seem a bit harsh, when we place blame on someone else we are really lying to ourselves. How many of us say these types of things? Everyone else is doing it. She made me mad. He started it. I act the way I do because this certain thing happened in my life.

Everyone's life is journey filled with trials. Some of us face greater ones than others, but for the most part we have all been lied to at some time. Does this justify our lying to someone else? Even having been lied to by one person, I have often had trouble trusting anyone. Being lied to is the reason I don't trust, but it is not a good excuse.

When we don't take responsibility for our own actions, we block the path to advancing spiritually. We give our power away to someone else. While someone can treat us wrongly, we have the choice to react in the way we do. Someone can wrong you and you can still do the right thing. Someone can make a wrong decision and you can still choose to make the right one and not follow them.

I want to be responsible for my actions and feelings. If someone else is responsible, then I have no hope of ever changing anything.

"A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else." John Burroughs

Day 20 - Avoiding Doubt and Disbelief

HeartQuotes - Blame Quote