Getting Your Teen to "Nark"

The other day, I overheard something very disturbing while my teen girls were talking. Don't get me wrong, I hear a lot of strange things when the girls are chattering around me. But, this time it was something serious, involving a person who was hurting themselves.

So, how do you get your child to tell an authority figure when something like this happens. Obviously I told all the girls that if they ever see something like that then they need to immediately tell someone at school.

But, remember when you were a teen? You couldn't go to the principal or the teachers with stuff like that because then you would be labeled a nark. It hasn't changed now days either. None of the kids want to sacrifice their status at school to be known as a nark.

I think a lot of kids simply don't understand that most of the time no one will even know if they tell. Especially if a lot of kids know about what is happening.

Offering to be the one to tell an authority figure at school for your child may also make them feel more comfortable with, at the very least, telling you what happened.

But, the best route for encouraging your children to tell on someone is for them to know when to nark. Sit down with your child and explain to them that sometimes, a life may depend on if they do or don't say something about it.

It's like when my little kids tattle on the others. I tell them all, unless it involves blood or fire, I don't want to know. Choose your battles.

The most important part, I believe, is to get through to them before something happens where they should tell on one of their classmates. If your child knows ahead of time what to do in a situation, then the outcome will be timelier and probably have a better end result.

For a teen, it's hard because they have to go to school with these other kids and sometimes being known as a nark can bring big trouble, including violence, teasing, loss of friends, and a reputation to last till senior year...maybe even longer. So help your teen to know when it's right to tell on a friend, or even someone who is not their friend.

Explaining to your child that even though they may feel bad for telling on someone, if that person really hurts themselves or even dies, they will wish that they had said something.