Getting What You Want: A Guide to Getting What is Necessary in Life

I will admit that this article is a little bit misnamed. This is really an article more about getting what you need in life. So much of the time we have the tendency to focus on the things that we want. We want a new car, a new house, a new relationship, etc. The problem of thinking so much about what we want is that it leads to expectations, sometimes massive ones. And expectations, when they are not met, lead to disappointment.

Also, our wants are very often determined by what other people have, which means that frequently we are comparing ourselves to others. When we compare ourselves to others, we do ourselves an injustice, because everyone has gifts and talents that are uniquely theirs. And, in our competition based culture, many of the most beautiful gifts and talents are under-appreciated. Therefore, rather than to focus on what we want and how to get it, it is more important to determine what we need in life, and upon achieving that to seek contentment.

In the book The Count of Monte Cristo, the lead character comes to understand that in simplicity lies perfection. America has a culture that is rooted in perfectionism. This was at the heart of puritanical religious beliefs. Those beliefs influence the American work ethic more today than we realize. This concept of perfection though, has become twisted within our modern society. Being perfect in our society has come to mean being the best.

While it is important to give our best effort in whatever we do, being the best leads again to unsatisfied expectations when we are not the best. Again, unsatisfied expectations lead to disappointment. Feeling disappointment is based in emotion. Being rooted in emotional reactions because we did not get what we want, falls very far away from the idea of perfection. We have come to understand perfection in our culture as a competitive act. Perfection in reality is being completely centered and balanced. It is based in simplicity.

Most of us when we look around have most of the things that we already need. We have a house. We have food every day. Hopefully, we have a few friends. These are really the things that we absolutely need. When we become content with these basic needs, we realize that there's not really much else that we could want. In fact, wanting and getting leads to a more complex life, because once you have everything you want, it becomes a big responsibility to have to take care of it. So, the key to getting what you want in life is to want little. Live a simple life and the joy will be found within, rather than from without.