Getting the Woman You Want: How to Be the Nice Guy and Get the Girl

You've undoubtedly heard the saying "Nice guys finish last". You may have been one of the men to say it. Many women state that they want a nice guy, so when a so-called nice guy wanders into her life and the relationship falls apart, he may wonder why being so nice didn't work out in his favor. Unfortunately, after a few failed relationships and the repeated questioning of himself, he can end up turning into the bad boy. This whole scenario doesn't have to be the case. There are ways that you can remain a nice guy and still get, and keep, the girl.

Give her a chance to miss you

Some nice guys seem to feel that calling a woman often is going to get her attention. It will, but it may not be the type you hope for. If a woman has a life, she doesn't want to be hounded all day with text messages and phone calls. Even if you want to call her a few times a day, avoid doing so. Give her a chance to be able to miss you and wonder how you're doing.

Take your chance when you have it

Just because you're a nice guy, doesn't mean you have to let chances pass you by. One example is if a guy realizes he has feelings for his single female friend. Instead of telling her how he feels, he doesn't want to ruin the friendship, so he settles for having feelings from afar. Take the opportunity to tell her how you feel when you know, otherwise, you could blow your possible one and only opportunity. It may be difficult and completely nerve-wracking, but it's better to do so than to wonder what could have been.

Be confident around women

Even if you are having a day where you feel less than confident, fake that confidence as much as possible, but don't cross the line to being cocky. If a nice guy has confidence in himself and believes in his abilities, a woman may be interested in finding out if he can really back up his claims or if he's just making himself seem better than he really is.

Stop being the "girl friend" if you want to be more

Some men feel that by becoming the woman's confidant, shopping buddy, dinner partner and shoulder to cry on that the woman will wake up one day and realize how wonderful he really is and what a great boyfriend he could be. While this may work in some cases, it isn't always the best situation to get in. You then risk the chance of becoming a "girl friend" and getting thrown into the same category as her close female friends. Pretty soon, you will be hearing her say the phrase "I love him like a brother", a statement that can almost certainly crush any hope that you have.

Have a backbone

A strong woman will usually want a strong man that has his own set of opinions and isn't afraid to express them when necessary. If you are constantly doing what she wants to do and agreeing with everything that she says, you are not being nice you're being a doormat. In addition, if you want to express your opinions, do so in a civilized way. You can get your point across better if you refrain from being temperamental about it.

Be persistent, but not overly so

The typical nice guy, once rejected, may immediately give up. Sometimes, a woman can be caught off guard and reject you out of the moment, not because she's not interested. For example, if you ask a woman on a date and she says no, wait a few days or so and ask her out again. If she rejects you the second time, then you should most likely move onto someone else.

Be honest in how you feel

While you don't want to fall at her feet sobbing and expressing your undying devotion, you shouldn't hesitate in expressing your feelings. Communication, before and during a relationship, is incredibly important. A woman wants to know where she stands with you without having to guess.

Have a life

A woman should not be your entire life. A guy may think that he's being nice by skipping his "boys night", but a woman wants to know that you have more going on than just her. She should fit into your life, not try to become all of it, and you shouldn't let her.

While most women want a nice guy, they don't want a doormat. A complete bad boy or nice guy may be what catches a woman's attention, but a bit of edge mixed into the nice guy persona is what will usually keep a woman from walking out of your life.