Giant Isopod Soup

The first thing is to get the giant isopods. That ma be harder than this video makes it seem, because if they flock onto dead tuna that way we have to wonder why these 30-inchers aren't already on top of sushi menus along with urchin roe and mackerel. So there must be more to it than that. We do know, however, from practical experience, that you can easily gather all you might want of this (heretofore) overlooked food resource simply by moseying along the nearest shoreline with a butterfly net and scooping the little morsels up as they scamper away from one's advancing footsteps.

Gather:

Two pounds Giant Isopods (about 3 live bugs) or a bucket of sand fleas (about 1,000 little hoppers).

Seaweed. Anything edible will do.

Salt water.

Garlic.

Butter.

French Bread.

Melt the butter, keep it hot on the stove. Wrap the bugs up in seaweed, place in a fast oven, have a cocktail.

Sneak up on them. This is much easier with the Giant Isopods because they are easier to keep track of. Rinse. Mix the salt water with a little vermouth, pour it over ice, dip the sand fleas in this and wait for any effect. Have a sip and see if it has any effect on you. By this time the sand fleas are getting a little weary. Giant Isopods may attack--hold them off with a wooden spoon while preparing the garlic bread. Another cocktail would probably not be a bad idea.

Make sure they are dead before serving, or your guests may have unpleasant times.