Gift Ideas for Paris Hilton

What do you suppose is on Paris Hilton's Christmas list this year? What kind of gift do you get a girl whose daddy gives her anything her heart desires? I suppose we should be thankful Paris hasn't wanted a ride on the shuttle, bringing a vacuum inside is what the walls are supposed to protect the astronauts from. But, what will she be doing come Christmas afternoon in the Presidential Suite at the Washington Hilton? Why, board games, of course! Here are ten suggestions for the board games you can send Paris to show your affection.

1. Clue. I think the reason is self-explanatory, don't you? The question is, will Paris be Miss Peacock, with a candlestick, in the bedroom?
2. Monopoly. Remove all of the "Get Out of Jail Free" cards, Ms. Hilton has already used all of them. Double the "Go To Jail" cards, but add the words "Pretty Please" on them, and add a pink jumpsuit with rhinestones to the box.
3. Candyland. Be sure to remove all words from the instructions, and insert pictures. You don't want to confuse Paris while she's sipping champagne.
4. Yahtzee. Paris won't understand this game, so be sure to send instructions that every time Paris rolls the dice she has to turn on her free webcam and take off an article of clothing.
5. Risk. This one she will TOTALLY not understand. Every risk she's ever taken, she's been bailed out by daddy's money. Paris will enjoy all the pretty colors, though.
6. Scrabble. Well, you can be certain there won't be any bonus points for Paris using all of her tiles in a single word, but it might be fine watching her dig through the box.
7. Battleship. We all know how histrionic Ms. Hilton can be when she doesn't get her away, so picture her face saying "You sank my battleship!"
8. Sorry! Yeah, sure. At least you will add a new word to her limited lexicon.
9. Life. Tear the box in half, and remove the "low road" side. Add cards for "flunk out of [insert graduate degree] school, lose three turns" and "Daddy bought you a hotel, sleep 2 turns."
10. Mousetrap. Remove the cage from the box, and replace it with a golden hotel.

Now, go forth and hit the stores, confident you can find the perfect gift for the divalicious Ms Hilton. You can send your gifts to Paris care of your local Hilton Hotel.