Gift Ideas for People Who Love Funny Junk

The world is full of people who love (and buy) funny junk. It has to be. Why else would my mailbox be overflowing every day with catalogs full of stuff that can only be described as "funny junk," or maybe "hideous crap"? It has to be because someone out there is purchasing it.

But just who are those someones? I've decided there are two kinds of people who love funny junk: those who know it is funny junk and therefore choose to have it in their possession because it makes them happy, and those who genuinely like it and therefore deserve to own it.

I've scoured the pages of those catalogs peddling all that funny junk, and I'm prepared to offer you suggestions for some top-notch funny junk gifts that someone near and dear to you who loves funny junk will hold near and dear to them for years to come.

Funny Junk With a Purpose
I have to start with the item that inspired this article. This piece of funny junk (or hideous crap, whichever you prefer) is a jewelry holder inspired by the famous Marilyn Monroe pose from "The Seven Year Itch," in which her white dress is blowing up from a rush of air coming out of a grate she is standing on.

The thing is, this Marilyn has no head. In fact, Marilyn doesn't have any arms either. It's kind of the Venus de Milo of jewelry holders in that regard, except that at least old Venus had a head. So what has replaced the head and arms on this piece of funny junk? Why, hooks to hang your necklaces on, of course. This little gem, a funny junk classic for sure, sells for just $5.95 from The Lakeside Collection (www.lakeside.com). The "Seven Year Itch" version is item number 824001036.

But hold on, will the person on your gift list who loves funny junk prefer a headless Marilyn from "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"? Well, they've got a jewelry holder designed to look like that famous pink dress with the big bow on the butt, too. That is item number 824001028. Then there's a version with a sexy black dress that I don't recognize as a Marilyn rip-off, but maybe you do. It's item number 824001010 if you want to take a look.

Perhaps that is the funniest part of all-the fact that these jewelry holders are so obviously supposed to be Marilyn Monroe, but of course, the descriptions include no mention of Marilyn or the movies that inspired these headless wonders. Well, at $5.95 each, maybe they couldn't afford to send Marilyn's people a cut.

Funny Junk With a Christmas Theme
My next suggestion for a piece of funny junk that would make a great gift is also from The Lakeside Collection. I hate to pick on Lakeside; they do have some cute, inexpensive gifts. This one is no exception, if you like potty humor. How to describe the "Pull My Finger® Santa"? I think the name pretty much says it all. (Note that the manufacturer was so sure this item would be the envy of all the other funny junk makers that it added the little ® service mark to the name.)

If the name doesn't tell you all you need to know, let me let you hear it straight from Santa's mouth. He is a pretty eloquent guy whose phrases include: "There's a gift for you," "Ahhh…the holiday smells," "Faaa-rrr-ttt," "That's all you're getting this Christmas," "Up the Chimney I go," "Come on, sit on my lap," and "Was that on your list?" For $8.95, this stinky St. Nick (item number 823199103) will make someone's holiday a gas.

Funny Junk Without Sleeves
Well, I've gone this far with The Lakeside Collection, so I might as well give you one last suggestion from their catalog. The item itself isn't inherently funny; it's just a shirt. It's one feature of the shirt, or lack of a feature, that qualifies it as funny junk.

The shirt is a Larry the Cable Guy button-front number with the phrase "Git-R-Done" screen-printed above the left breast pocket. OK, we've all seen that before, whether we wanted to or not. But what makes this shirt special is its sleeves.

Apparently, if you are a fan of Larry the Cable Guy, it isn't cool to have sleeves on your shirt. Fine, if that's your thing. But what takes the cake (or adds the cheese) to this shirt is that sleeves aren't really ripped off. There's a firm seam in place. However, they've added a row of faux fringe to give the appearance that the shirt's owner is the no-sleeve-wearing-rebellious type. You read it right: faux fringe. Would Larry wear faux fringe? I just don't know.

Anyway, this shirt comes in black or denim in men's size large, extra-large and extra-extra-large. The item numbers vary depending on size and color, so if this link doesn't work, you'll have to search for "Larry The Cable Guy" on The Lakeside Collection's Web site to order one of these babies for your friend who loves funny junk. Prices range from $11.95 to $22.95, depending on size and color.

I hope you've enjoyed this holiday gift guide for people who love funny junk. Now, as for your holiday gift shopping, just go out there and "git-r-done."