Gilgamesh: A Modern Translation

Greg is the captain of the basketball team, and a first class jerk. He is basically the stereotypical jock: making fun of others, stealing guys' girlfriends, etc. Erik is a new student at the high school, and he is an outcast. Prior to entering the school, he was homeschooled by his parents. His parents are biologists; the family lived in the forest, documenting wildlife before moving back to civilization.

The student body decides that they want Erik to try out for the basketball team because he is freakishly tall and it would probably make Greg very angry. However, Erik is very insecure. To help Erik overcome his insecurity, the students convince Shannon, the really popular but rather promiscuous cheerleader to date Erik.

With this weekend's kegger quickly approaching, Shannon decides that Erik is in desperate need of a makeover. After a quick hair cut, a trip to the mall, and a stop at the tanning salon, Erik suddenly looks unrealistically like an Abercrombie model. When they arrive at the party, Shannon tells Erik, "Go ahead, Erik. This is beer, we high schoolers drink this." At this point, Erik proceeds to become exceptionally intoxicated. In keeping with the original Gilgamesh, Erik should drink seven pitchers of beer.In this inebriated state, Erik is suddenly popular with the general student body. It is at the point that one of Erik's new found friends tell him about how Greg slept with his girlfriend. Angered, Erik decrees, "I will go to the basketball court, to the palace of Greg the mighty king. I will challenge him. I will shout to his face: 'I am the man!'" This declaration is promptly followed by cheers and more minor consumption.

At basketball tryouts the following week, a huge crowd gathers in the gym. Erik and Greg play an intense game of one-on-one. The players seem to be pretty even matched. Eventually, they begin to fight. Greg pins Erik to the ground. Erik concedes, "Greg, those were some pretty sweet moves. You should be able to play Division 1, easy. I can see why you're team captain." To this Greg responds, "You have some pretty sweet moves too. Join the team and together we will win the state championship." They walk side by side. They become true friends.

For my translation of Gilgamesh, I propose making a movie based on the summary above. This is mainly because in today's society, people don't really read unless they have to. Movies are much sexier. By making it a movie, it automatically gains relevance with the mainstream public. In order to maximize profits, this movie would ideally be rated PG-13. Therefore, sex can sort of be talked about. This means the sexual relations between Erik and Shannon, or Enkidu and Shamhat, can be suggested but not explicitly shown.

The movie version would take place in a high school. In order to keep the audience from becoming distracted or focusing on the odd names, Enkidu would become Erik, Shamhat would become Shannon, and Gilgamesh would become Greg. By making these changes, the audience will be able to relate and better understand the plot. This, in turn, makes the story more relevant.

In translating Gilgamesh, I think that the most essential element to preserve from the original (or the translation that I read) is the plot. After reading the multiple translations of the work, the plot seems to be one of the only aspects they all have in common. Also, I don't feel that the rhythm and other poetic aspects are really that relevant. The true original version of Gilgamesh probably sounded very different than any of the current translations. Furthermore, probably only a small percentage of people today would be able to fully appreciate any poetic qualities of the work. By including these elements, it would only alienate the mainstream who would then in turn only consider Gilgamesh on a superficial level.