Girlfriends

There is a relationship that no man can ever understand and no amount of explaining it to him will help him "get it". It is the relationship between two or more female friends. It is the relationship we call "girlfriends".

I cannot imagine my life without these wonderful women and I have several different groups of girlfriends.

There are those friends I have made on an email list devoted to women who gave birth in July 1998. We have been together since we were first pregnant. Several of us have met in real life. We have seen the sadness of miscarriages, the death of an infant, the cancer and subsequent treatment of one of our July98 children and illnesses that ranged from minor to too frightening to even contemplate. We have also seen the joy of our kids overcoming adversity, walking, talking, reading and becoming incredible young people who are well on their way to making a difference in their world. We have had differences of opinion, but through it all we have remained strong and stood by each other through the roughest of storms.

I have a group of "mom" friends as well. These are the women I have met at preschool, school, dance classes, sporting events, PTA and various other "mom" activities. They are a special group of women as well. They are bright, witty and busy ladies who never slow down and are constantly working to make things better for the school, for the teams and of course, for their children. Many of them have careers, but are still always available to help in a classroom, throw a class party, be a fundraiser or decorate an auditorium. These are the ladies who remind me that you CAN do it all.

Finally, there are the friends I have known since childhood. These are the women I have known since I was six years old. We were girls together before we were women. We've been through everything from Bluebirds to childbirth together.

They know my deepest, darkest secrets and I know that they would never reveal them. They know my innermost thoughts and desires. We have shared things as girls, teenagers, young women and now, as grown women that no other person can be a party to. Those times whether they were difficult or victorious are ours alone to share.

I know that I could call on them anytime day or night and they would be there. There would be no pain, no sorrow, no heartbreak, and no adversity that any of us would have to go through alone. We share a bond that transcends every other friendship we will ever have. We share our pasts, our futures, our whole lives.

The friendships that men share are not necessarily less than those of women, but they are not the same. It is not likely that a group of male friends would hold each other while they cried or laugh until they wet their pants. They won't be able to share terrifying stories of childbirth or talk about the relationship with a lover in the most intimate of detail.

What men can do is love these women. They are the protectors, the nurturers. They bring children and laughter into the world and they bring love into the hearts of all those whose lives they touch.