Girls, Guns and the Outdoors

All four of my daughters like the outdoors and two like guns and to hunt. They all like boys, all love to dance and all like to look pretty. It has been my joy to watch some of them grow in their outdoor experience, while at the same time becoming no less "feminine" than the ones who don't.

Start at an Early Age

As parents we best respond to interest. Do not force interest in the outdoors. I do a lot of hiking, and so when one (or more) express interest to come along, I say yes. Some have started climbing and hiking not long after learning to walk. The advantage to hiking at a young age is that children are `weightless'. Hiking and climbing are easy. And hunting and fishing are very natural ways of obtaining food. Thoughts like `climbing is hard', `hiking with your dad isn't cool', and `hunting is cruel' are inhibitors that are learned.

Girls and the Ego

The delightful thing about girls in the outdoors, and girls with guns, is that their egos don't seem to get involved. One of my daughters has felled more and bigger wild animals than most adult men, but she would never tell you about it - you would probably find out from me. On a climb with another daughter I injured myself, and my daughter stepped up to the plate and `mothered' me. There is a beautiful aspect of `business as usual' to a woman ... things that are a `big deal' to men, just aren't to them. Women are more stable. Maybe that's why they are incredible `shots' with firearms. It seems that women more naturally respect the outdoors, and nature. And with the ego not (or less) involved, girls are less likely to do something `stupid'.

Father Daughter Time

It is not likely that I will start dancing any time soon, and I'm definitely not going to start liking boys (in a romantic way), so if my daughters want to spend time with me in the outdoors - I'm all for it. There are two aspects to father-daughter time in the outdoors. The first is the relational time together: talking, teaching, listening. The second is just watching. Simply observing your child - how she (or he) begins to take on life on her (or his) own. There is a time to teach, and there is a time to stop teaching, and enjoy the unique individual blossoming in front of you. It is the other aspect of parenting - to be the observer.

Girls and Their Boy-Friends

A great way to get to know a daughter's boyfriend is to take him `along with'. It shows great support for your daughter to include her friend. And if the boy is not comfortable coming along, or the daughter not comfortable inviting him, then something is amiss with the relationship. I have found over the years that in the outdoors you can talk about things you can't seem to talk about in civilization, or indoors, and you can see things in people that you might not see otherwise. And I'm certainly not going to let them go camping together without me.

Conclusion

Whether it be a lack of ego, or being used to putting stuff on their faces, my daughters are far more amiable to putting on camo face paint than my guy friends. One daughter's boy friend came on a climb with me, but the daughter stayed at home. Did he really like me that much, or hiking, or was there a hidden agenda? His plan was to ask me for her hand in marriage. I could see it coming. He probably could have asked me indoors, or under other circumstances, but on a climb of a granite peak in the Great Outdoors made it especially cool.

References

Daughters Outdoors (Slideshow), Jeff Filler, Associated Content